Well - I'm sure probably more than half of you have either experienced or expected this; my ExH called me about 2 wks ago. Surprise!!!<p>He and I div. 11-5/yes it hurt w/out him but I really was doing okay - had my moments but really more peaceful and okay. <p>5 yrs married - he lied,lied,and lied (mostly about stupid stuff). <p>Most other important issue: He acts provocatively and sexually with other women in front of me - you know, body language, sexual msgs, if you were watching him and who knows what girl he's 'dancing' with - you can tell it really looks like 'there's something going on' between him and whoever the one he's 'flirting' with and they'd like to jump each other's bones. <p>His answers to the past and present confrontations on this issue? He's not 'aware' he's doing it, it doesn't mean anything and in the past, 'he has no control over it.'<p>EVERYONE I've spoken with, male or female says the same thing - it's B.S.!!!!!!<p>He's admitted lying; asked me to set up polygraph test and he'd pay for it (told him it would be detailed and extensive and expensive!! ) Said he didn't care - go ahead - as he has nothing to hide. <p>Said after he quitclaimed the house to me in div. that he doesn't care about it at all. He doesn't want it back and he wants me to schedule counseling to 'do whatever it takes to have a 'healthy' relationship with his wife.'<p>But he's still giving me B.S. answers re: flirting. <p>He won't admit he KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING cus I think he still wants to do it and will give up some behavior but NOT THAT ONE. <p>I'm not BUDGING until I seek the Lord but would really like someone's outside opinion as I'm a lot emotionally clouded right now as I always have loved him, optimistically would LOVE to see it work out <p>but I can't see shinola right now. <p>Thank you please help..... <p>Jordan

Well, maybe it will take some counseling sessions to open up his eyes to what he's doing. Sometimes someone other than the spouse has to point it out for them to get it.<p>Recovery from anything - whether it be from an affair or from bad past behaviors - doesn't happen overnight, and sometimes even the WS doesn't even say they're sorry for the A.<p>However, that doesn't mean that through therapy and prayer and time things won't be different. IF he never tried therapy in the past and wasn't opne to it then you don't know if it will work or not. Wh is probably also a little older and wiser now. <p>I just think - what would I want my H to do if O was the one with the problem - how would I want him to treat me. <p>You can always give him at least one chance and then see what happens.<p>K

Take it slow hon, the last thing anyone needs is to rush into something and have their heart broken again. Counseling sounds like a great start. My only concern would be that it is one of those things that you only want what you can't have, then when you've gotten it, it ain't what you want anymore. I really hope it works out, that would be cool.