I have been on MB almost three years. I rarely post anymore, but I REALLY need some prayers and help.
First, I love the Lord, and I know that He loves me and wants what is best for me. I know this, although I am having a hard time *seeing* it.<p>I've been divorced over 1 1/2 years; seperated a total of 3 yrs. I have a young child who is the joy of my life.<p>Why am I writing this today? Well, I, even after all this time, still CRY at night for my husband to come home. Some are familiar with the term *standing* and I've been doing this.<p>I came to me last night, that although I want my husband to turn to the Lord and come home, I don't believe he will any longer. I honestly believe now, that satan has been clouding my mind, to the point of tormenting me. I should NOT be feeling this way, escpecially after 3 years of seperation (married only 4 1/2 years). <p>I NEED to let this go and I need to truly let God lead MY life. I am close to losing my mind over this and I know that is from the devil. I cannot pretend any longer that my xh is coming home- I need to live my own life.<p>Please, if you pray, pray for my child and myself. Please Lord, release me from this torment and lift me from this pit.<p>God bless<p>[ February 14, 2002: Message edited by: brokenspirit ]</p>

I know this is a tough position to be in and its rough. Here's just a scripture to remember that the Lord has called us to PEACE in these matters, he is concerned about your well being. The Lord did not have your spouse to leave you and then stand back and watch you be tormented. Just a word..<p>1 Cor 7:15
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Hi BrokenSpirit,<p>My heart goes out to you. I love the Lord too and prayed for over a year for my H to come home. I was there, waiting, willing and able to help heal our marriage.<p>I have and still am having a "discussion" with God about it all. Why didn't He bring my H back to Himself and home to me? All things are possible with Him. Was I just weak? Was my "stand" too short? <p>All these questions I asked myself (and still do at times). I really don't have an answer except that while I know God longs to heal my marriage (and yours), He's given your H free will and will not (in most cases) override that. Your H's choice is plan and clear. <p>You are right in that your tormented by this. And I think you are right in that it's time to move on. But let's be clear about a few things:<p>1) Satan DID NOT win. God ALWAYS wins and if you seek HIS face and let go of the things you think He should or even the things He promissed to do, you will have peace. Seek Him, not what he will or will not do.<p>2) God has a plan for your life, even admidst this mess. He wants you healthy, whole and tuned into Him. Allow Him to heal this pain and to bring peace and hope to you.<p>3) By "moving on" you are not letting God nor your faith down. You are being wise about the situation you now find yourself in and trusting that regardless of what happens, you will trust God no matter what.<p>That really is the bottom line. Trust God no matter what. I am reading a book called "Disasppointment with God." It's been a real struggle for me to keep my life-long faith in Him thru all this. And even tho I don't understand, I don't really have any answers, I really can't see what God is doing in my life, I have determined one thing in my heart: I will trust God no matter what.<p>That's all I have and for me, right now, that's enough. Maybe it will be enough for you.<p>Please know my heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. <p>Keep the faith,
Aloha,
Ms.O<p>[ February 14, 2002: Message edited by: Ms.O ]</p>

God knows what is best for us, inspite of ourselves and our own selfihness. Regardless of what we pray for god doesn't always answer our prayers the way we want. He does how ever answer all prayers. If you are able to look past what has happened to you and what you have wanted, I am sure you will see that he has answered your prayers and has given you everything you need to survive and be a better person. I also believe that it is only through suffering that we are truely able to be drawn to christ and it is only through christ that we can reach heaven. All things in life are a passing and if your focus is on heaven and eternal life then you must except that the part of your life with your husband has passed for now and you and your child must move forward. You are in my prayers and so is the child. take care of yourself god is and always will be there for you.

Dear Sister,
My heart breaks for you. My life has been shattered too, but in a different way. What God said in Isa. 43 has helped me when I wanted to just end it all - "When you go through the rivers I will be with you" In your pain and my pain God is right there, crying and aching with us. He does not pull us through or just help us along, but he goes right into the torrent and feels the same cold rushing river of sorrow that almost drags us under. He is there, holding your hand and holding you to his heart. Climb into his lap and let him hold you close and wrap you in him arms.<p>praying

Praying.
Elizabeth

Everlasting Compassion-<p>Thank you for the scripture. I do know that God has called me to peace and to let him go.
I'm just struggling with so many other aspects. There are so many other verses that say I should love him until the end.
I know God is with me and Loves me. He has never left me-even doing the time that I left him.<p>Ms O-<p>Thank you for that heart-felt reply. Doing what is right and what is Christian is sometimes very difficult for me. I do realize that my xh has free will, but I also know that God is concerned about the heart-not the will. Over the course of time, I realize that I can't concentrate on his will, but pray that God will change his heart. We all have free will- but God was able to reach us, right?
I don't have the answers---maybe never will. I just can't help thinking that families should be together as one, and that divorce is far to easy anymore.
I will trust the Lord, too, whatever is to happen in my life. He is my only hope.
God Bless<p>jabber-<p>I do agree that God doesn't always answers our prayers the way we would like, but I do believe that He gives us the desires of our heart, if we make Him our one and only. Yes, God has been with me each step of the way, and yes, He has answered many prayers in many ways. <p>rjd-<p>Thank you for your prayers.
"Climb into his lap and let him hold you close and wrap you in him arms", this just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much.<p>justthewife-<p>Thank you for your prayers.<p>Thank you all. May the Lord bless you always.