Ok, let me tell you a little bit about 'us......<p>Met in 1994. He was still involved with someone else. I didn't know it at the time. When I found out, I told him it was over. He immediately left her. (They were never married, just lived together).<p>Married in December of 1996.<p>Child June of 1998.<p>It seems that after the child was born in June, our marriage really went down hill. <p>Instead of going into detail, here's a list of all the problems:<p>Possible infidelity (I say possible because he swears that nothing happened, but, I consider getting wasted(drunk) and dancing with women and the hotel clerk telling me that he has been calling down there asking for a woman etc, etc, to be infidelity). There was another incident as well!<p>Sexual Addiction (He is addicted to pornography, has actually had a friend over for me! Which I refused. He has to have it daily, etc.).<p>Verbally abusive (He calls me bad names all the time. My youngest has even repeated what he has called me when she was mad at me. He has called my oldest daughter a bad name before, etc.).<p>Very controlling (I couldn't do anything, and I mean anything. He would get mad at me if I wanted to go to church when he didn't. I wasn't allowed to vistit family(unless it was his, which I love his family). I wasn't allowed to get a job when we really needed the extra money. I could go on and on).<p>Financial idiot (He makes great money, he just doesn't know how to take care of it. Always had to ask his parents to 'help out'. I took care of the money before we started having problems. I'm not perfect, but I wasn't stupid with it).<p>Non supportive (He wouldn't support me with anything that I wanted to do, such as lose weight, exercise, etc. He would always make things harder on me).<p>We didn't do things together, as a family. He was always 'happy' when my oldest had to go to her dad's house. He never said a nice word to her.<p>I couldn't even discipline 'our' daughter. He refused to let me do what the Dr. said about getting her out of our bed(his choice to have her there). She was still sleeping with us up until he moved out. She is now sleeping in her own bed. She was good during the day, but when daddy got home, she was a total different little girl....she knew he was there, and that she could get by with anything.<p>Now, I'm not saying that I am perfect. But, I have been nothing but faithful to him, obeyed him, gave him a child(his only one), taken care of the house, etc. Just don't want you thinking that I think I'm perfect!<p>After getting hit in the side on Christmas morning, and after him putting a bruise on my oldest, I filed for divorce on Jan 14, 2002. He found out on the 20th, left with my little baby. I got her back that Tuesday. <p>Since the time that he found out, he has been to see a counselor once(didn't go to his last appt cause I told him that I wanted the divorce). I am seeing the same counselor. He has/is trying everything in the book to come back home. He's given up all porno, going to treat me better, treat my oldest better, put $100 a week away for my oldest, support me in getting a job, let me have a life, etc.....He's trying to make me feel quilty for what I'm doing, and it is killing me.
I have talked with my minister and his wife about all this, and they support me. So, why do I feel sooooo bad about this. I thought that I'm doing the right thing by taking 'us' out of this situation. Since he left, I have felt sooo much better about myself, not up to where I need to be, but working on it! I felt like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.<p>How?? do I get him to realize that it is over? That no matter what, I don't feel that he can change 'all' these things to make our life together better? And, am I wrong at not 'working' on it?<p>I know this turned out to be real long, I'm sorry! Just really looking for some answers and support. TIA for any responses this may bring.<p>One last thing......Could someone please give me the low-down on all the abbreviations? LOL<p>Have a great day!
