Dana - WOW!! Well, I must admit, I am glad to see an instance of "what goes around comes around"!! I still haven't seen it in my case, though - WH married OW in Sept. 1999, four months after our D was final. He refused to end the affair. I, like you, endured emotionally abusive behavior. Tried to Plan A, but to no avail. I truly believe that there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome. I, too, told him I no longer wanted him back when he tried (half-hearedly) to return 7 months after he moved out. I, too, had the "bomb" dropped at Christmas time. He showed to interest in celebrating (with me, that is - I learned later he had celebrated Christmas with his "new" family before he even told me he was leaving) the holiday, and two days after Christmas, he told me he was moving out so he could find out why he was "so unhappy". (Gee, must be that dang fog.) Anyway, I am way better off without him. I do not wish either of them any real harm, but do not wish to see their marriage succeed or last, either. Whatever "happiness" they have, it was taken at another person's expense, and has lying and cheating as its foundation. I fully expect that if and when their marriage falls apart, he will be on my doorstep begging forgiveness and asking for another chance. To which I say "NO WAY IN HELL!!!!"<p>Take care, Dana - you are a strong and wise lady! Keep us updated.<p>Take care and God Bless -
Marsha

I am so happy for you about continuing your education, yet know how difficult it is on an extreme budget. I don't like the time we spend while we are going through difficult times, but I know it we make all involved stronger and more apprective of the love you have for each other.
It is amazing sometimes how much people on campus will help you, if you let them. <p>
You only responded to one early post of mine when I was exploding. You & Seeking really scared me into action. The two names was like God saying, "Pay attention to what they are telling you & try to understand this site." I might have just been a casual lurker & not really understand the meaning of time & patience. WH moved out 2 weeks ago. I am still Planning A. It has been 6 months since the real truth was known, the previous 6 months WH hide from counselor & me current A. Recently fog is going in & out. I have set my boundries.<p>Thanks to all other poster's reminding me about approx. time lines and to continue with patience & time. I am listening - althrough sometimes it is so hard. <p>Thanks for being there when I needed you. Praying for your success, & please during breaks give us an update. LOL

Dana...<p>Thank you for your reply and sharing your thoughts.<p>You really do seem to be doing well...and do not be too hard on yourself...you did the best that you could do at the time to try and make it all work!<p>You tried as best you could and are now "Mobilized for Healing" and now as you have stated can fully enter that process and begin what has to seem like a long past due journey for your healing and renewal.<p>And...your posts seem to point out you are a tenacious lady and that your statement...<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>...But, I will always carry a hole in my heart that exH used to fill...<hr></blockquote><p>...shows I believe, just how with all the hurt, sadness and pain you were enduring from your husband, that deep down inside you were trying with your heart and soul to do all that you knew to find a way back to your husband and marriage.<p>You Did The Best That You Could! So maybe you can see your way to be a little bit more forgiving to yourself...you surely deserve it!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>..."I believe the Harley's, when he recommends to take anti depressents, I believe if I had those, I'd have hung in a little longer at the very least."<p>..."I had no clue exH was unhappy, if I did, I'd have done what I had to, to save the marriage LONG before he cheated/"<p>..."But, I just know in my case, I didn't try hard enough or long enough after discovery, not that it would have mattered, my ex was terrible to me."
<hr></blockquote><p>You Did The Best That You Could!!!<p>In all of your great comments back...several things I'm still curious to know...<p>1. How are the children?<p>2. Can you tell us about your work on your degree?<p>3. Can you tell us about what new wonder drug you are taking to help you manage all that you have to do now with you college work on top of everything else?...(It must be a magic pill!<p>The best to you and your children.<p>mr rlk
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One more time to tell you how great it is to see you are going on, and so well!<p>I am in almost daily contact with dr W Harley from May 2001 via e-mail.
I live in Europe and when I found this site I sent an e-mail. Why did he choose to answer me I do not know, but he is a wonderful person, realy wonderful. He si the only one who still believes that ex and me will eventually be together again. For now I think he is not right cause he can hardly imagine what men really are here in this part of the world. That's not America!
Still I do not believe but hope he may be right.
Different from you, I live for the moment he will come back, I love him and I know I'd accept his son like my two daughters. The only problem is that he never evr regreted what he did and probably never would.
Let su know how the things go on, please.