Just like the subject says. I need someone to please tell me what to do. I wrote a much longer version of this a minute again, but for whatever reason, it is lost. So I will shorten it.
My husband has been going "out" after work and on weekends all night - not calling, not letting me know when/ if he is coming home. Just coming home in the early morning drunk, with no explaination of where he was or who he was with. And thinking that I should find that acceptable. Which I do not. Example - post "saturday night". Also last night. Left a message at home at 4:30 saying he would be home at normal time. 1 am he stolled in. He works m-f 8 - 6.
I was furious. I couldn't eat, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't sleep. He is deliberately trying to hurt me and I don't know why. This has been going on for weeks. I can not take it anymore.
No, he doesn't invite me. In fact, it is a surprise, I never know when he will be home and when he won't be. And just to preface; this is not normal behavior. Well, wasn't.
I just want someone, anyone; to tell mewhat to do. Exactly what to do and how. I am so strong in my professional life, yet I am so confused in my personal life.
As I know everyone here is, I am hurting soooo much. My heart is aching all the time, my stomach is upset, I can't focus, I can't breathe.
Please. Someone help. Please.

Katydid,
Have you asked him about this behavior? Have you expressed your displeasure with this new and inconsiderate crap?<p>My xh did the same thing. Started staying out till god knows when and not wanting to come home. I know how you feel. So vulnerable and frustrated. You need to tell him that this is not acceptable. He won't like it, but so what? Does it matter if he doesn't want to hear it? Would he stay silent if you were doing this?

I have asked several times what is going on. We are having "issues". That is no secret. We are trying to figure out what to do. Stay together or not. He says he is confused. He misses his freedom, but then misses me. He says that he has been unhappy for over a year. But he can not committ to stay and work it out, or end it. He stays out becuase he is "thinking".
I told him that I can not accept that. Either stay and work it out or go. I do not deserve to be hurt so deliberately.
And the frustrating part is that he thinks if he smooth talks me and pretends like everything is normal, that it will be o.k. In essence, faking it. I am so tired of faking it. I am so tired of lying to friends and family.
I am leaving right now, actually. I don't know where I am going, but he just went out to run an errand, and I will be gone when he gets back.
I got a chain letter a few weeks ago....it was a wish letter. I know! I don't believe in any of that. But I did it. I did what it said, I made a wish and passed it along. I am still waiting for my wish to come true.

Katy did,<p>I am so sorry you are going thru this. I dont know what advice I could offer. I think you need to try to develop some new friends and interests. For a while my husband starting doing things separate from me and I stayed home waiting and it made things worse. I then started going to family or friends, ceramics, develop some hobby. I know it wont hurt anyless but it will redirect your thinking even a little bit.<p>Take care, Von