I am struggling with my faith and my newly aquired status as a divorced Christian. While the overall view of my congregation is not to shun divorced people, apparently i am not in a position to chaperone youth activities, because of my new status. Our pastor didnt approve of me being a chaperone for a youth retreat do to my new "lifestyle". I am very upset. I have been struggling with where if fit in at our church. there are bible studies for couples, singles, seniors, but none for single moms. I wanted to be positive and think i wasnt going to be discriminated against because of my divorce. After all there was adultery and abuse involved. I have gone to my church for over 10 years. My Pastor has been aware of the multiple separations and domestic violence charges. I feel so betrayed and dissapointed with the most godly man i have ever met. Any thoughts on this..

Rosita, with all respect to your Pastor, dispite you may feel rejected by your Pastor, GOD still loves you.. I don't know your full story and all divorces have 2 sides. I know you have went to that church for 10 years, but you are still part of the body of christ regardless...Just a thought, Jesus only stayed where he celebrated and not just tolerated....When you're tolerated people skip over you when promotions come...When your celebrated people pull the very best out of you and demand your participation...Im not saying leave thats something you have to pray about, but don't live your life thinking God is rejecting you, God is your friend, If you done anything wrong he will speak to you and have you make it right....Hope this helps.....Also make sure the church you at is lining up with the word of God on this issue....The WOrd says if the unbelieving depart let he/her depart, we are not in bondage to that God called us to peace.

It is easy for me to say, but it sounds like you need a new church. It doesn't sound very Christian like to me.<p>WHy not "shop around" till you find something that suites you spiritually as well as your personal situation.<p>I was going to look into a large church were I attended a Divorce Recovery program, because they all types of singles and divorced groups for all ages. I attend a smaller church where about th eonly single people are the fresh out of high school and college kids.<p>I didn't go elsewhere because this is where my children are comfortable.

Thank you for posting. I know that God loves me , although I do feel guilty for divorcing. I also have stayed at the church that my kids are used to, but it isnt good for me. My stbx and I were married there. So the congregation knows us as a couple. I have always been active before. I teach at the school there , im on the nursery committe, junior sunday school. Thats why i am so hurt about this. But People will disappoint us. Only God loves unconditionally. God Bless All

Thank you for posting. I know that God loves me , although I do feel guilty for divorcing. I also have stayed at the church that my kids are used to, but it isnt good for me. My stbx and I were married there. So the congregation knows us as a couple. I have always been active before. I teach at the school there , im on the nursery committe, junior sunday school. Thats why i am so hurt about this. But People will disappoint us. Only God loves unconditionally. God Bless All

My g/f went through some of the same things. HE x even got remarried in the same church as they had been. All the friends there were "couples" friends. <p>So she left that church and found a home she is very happy with although her minister and family are now leaving.<p>Hang in!

Many churches want a couple to do the youth group. For many reasons, so if the girls want to talk to someone besides family and the boys too. To show the youth that relationships are good, fun, loving, and are the presence of Gods work. The couples demonstrate to each other in view of the kids, kisses, love and caring. <p>I sympathize with your feelings, but there are many other activities to do in the church. Maybe you should let another couple take this over. You can still be there to help, but not be the person in charge. Find another part of the ministry to take charge of. I am sure the church would like your help, and if the kids are comfortable, stay. Christian teaching for the young is so important in their life. To leave because of a disagreement over who conducts a youth group doesn't seem to be worthwhile. Tell your kids you are going to give up this position, and let another couple take over and this will also bring new insight into the youth group. <p>Prayers are with you.

I don't know, are there other single parents in your church? <p>If so maybe you can talk to the pastor about starting a single parents ministry. My old church
didn't have, as the pastors' didn't realize there was a 'need' for such a ministry, UNTIL one of the pastors daughters got divorced. He seen first hand the struggles she went through and and started a sunday school class just for single parents.<p>He seen how she couldn't just go out anytime she wanted because she had family obligations..he seen how she struggled fitting in with the singles because she had kids..she didn't fit into the married classes because she wasn't a couple..and all of the activities were for single adults (no kids) or married couples..so the sunday school teachers started asking how many of the singles had kids..when the class began..we had some 50 ppl there the VERY FIRST Sunday!!! within two years
we had some 200 ppl in our class.. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]
(don't know if thats good or bad) <p>I know I felt like that was my home..I made many friends with others who had kids my daughters age..and we all got together and did things together, when they planed activities, they would have the older kids babysit the younger ones, or we'd make plans for things we could do w/ our kids..we did picnics, and holiday parties, and
go to the park...have skating parties..things that didn't cost alot to do..the teachers of the class had been single parents who were remarried...so they also understood what it was like to be in our situation...<p>So, maybe you can find out how many other single parents are in your church, and maybe the group of you can suggest something like this to your pastor?? Or maybe call around to other churches in your area and see if any of them offer that ministry...(if not it may give them an idea to start one) it's an entire group of people they could reach for the family of Christ..

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by rosita:
<strong>...apparently i am not in a position to chaperone youth activities, because of my new status. Our pastor didnt approve of me being a chaperone for a youth retreat do to my new "lifestyle".</strong><hr></blockquote><p>"Apparently"?<p>If you haven't done so already, I would suggest making an appointment with the pastor to have a direct discussion about this situation. It may be that there are some misunderstandings that need to be cleared up.<p>This is Biblical advice, too. If you believe someone (a fellow Christian) has something against you, you should go talk to him: "Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."(Matthew 5:23-24)<p>The same advice applies when you have something against a fellow Christian: "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother." (Matthew 18:15)

Gnome , I do agree with you, I have every intention on speaking to him. When i recieved the news he was not in that day. That was on Friday and then the weekend hit. I also wanted to cool down before i spoke to him. I will be speaking him tomorrow. Thanks for the biblical input.<p>Thorned Rose
Thank you for that suggestion. I had been thinking about doing something like that. Actually a friend of mine serves on the Christian Ed board and suggested to start a bible study for such a group and was told it wasnt their department. But perhaps if i could gather up some folks and together propose a plan it would be welcome. It is true there are so many who could use the fellowship with other divorced or widowed Christians. I ll let you know how it works out. Also my church is primarily older folks, but it is worth a try.<p>[ February 25, 2002: Message edited by: rosita ]</p>

Well, if they are older folks they may not see a need for a "single parents" ministry...but you could also check other churches in your area..<p>but, talk to the pastor, it may just be he feels you need a break right now, and doesn't think you need the added stress of taking a trip w/ the youth...so it could just be a misunderstanding..

<small>[ August 05, 2004, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Wow, that was so wonderfully put and motivating. Thank you... I can totally understand your input. I Know i have to start supporting myself emotionally and start protecting my heart more,