Hi you all - <P>H called twice yesterday - once today - then sent email. His message today had a mixed toned of irritation and worry in it. His email anger and "what have I done." He is the one who moved out, so he has no right to know what we do from day-to-day. Even tried to make me feel guilty that he is staying in flea bag hotels and living out of his car. Also that he is spending money. He is the one who wanted ot move out - it is not my fault that I thought it was unfair for him to stay here until he found a nice cozy place. <P>He said he had to do this to be sure. He already knows the right thing to do. He is just to much of a ***** to do it. That is not a word I ever use ~ that tells you how angry I am. <P>I am trying to stay as busy as possible. I have lots of plans over the next few days. H will keep our son one night for me. I think. I told him when I needed a sitter I would ask him first, but I will not stop doing things to make it convenient for him. As matter of a fact I will probably do more. He thought he ws going thru the motions of life - he blamed our marriage and relationship. Well, it ws actually his fault. He never wanted to do anything. He was a home-body. If I planned to have people over - he complained. If I made plans for us to go out - he complained. Well, I am finally going to socialize the way I want to. Maybe I will just find a boy-toy too. Actually have fun all the way around! (JK)<P>Hope you all are having as good of a day as I am having.<P>------------------<BR>H

YAY! good for you! make him see how wonderful you are! You DON'T need him! His life is NOT great now that you are out of it.<BR>Keep yourself super busy, and make him watch your son all you can. That worked really well for me, anyway.<BR> <P>You're doing great, keep it up.<P>julie<P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>

I know I have said this many times over the past posting of yours, but you really sound like me some months ago. I can hear the strength in your words, but I can also tell there is deep pain and you are fighting yourself to feel it. It is hard to think you have gone through everything and now you are giving him the satisfaction of you being hurt as well.<P>My H has always been the same way as well. He never wanted to do the socializing I wanted to do and I hated when I would go somewhere and everyone else's husbands would be there and they would ask where mine was. He has improved somewhat on that end. He at least makes an effort and that is all I can ask for.<P>I really believe the key to this is to let him know that life will go on without him if he choses not to be a part of your life. Go out and have a ball. Just remember you are still married and as tempting as it sounds you do not want to do anything you will regret in the months to come. It is very easy to do something stupid in your anger. I know I have done many stupid things I felt very guilty for when I calmed down.<P>Best of everything to you!! I am rooting for you. I have a very strong feeling he will be back. Don't know how long it will take, but he will be back.

dhj,<P>I wanted to send words of encouragement your way too. Good for you on feeling strong! But I also want to send a small warning to avoid love-busting.<P>I know you're pretty damn pissed at your H now, and rightfully so. I don't blame you one bit. Just don't love-bust. OK? I still have my fingers crossed that your hubby will see the error of his ways. <P>--andy

dhj-<BR>Good for you! When I read your post, I thought, that is me. You will make it. You do sound strong. <BR>You're right. He is the one that moved out, and it is not your fault.<BR>Get angry, it's ok. But when you talk to him, be the women that would be impossible to leave.<BR>Keep strong,<BR>Cheryl

dhj,<P>My h is coming to get the boys in 1/2 hour to go to his new apt. It is fun there. It has a pool, pool table, tennis, shuffle board etc. The reality of what happened this week has not set in to them. <P>All they've talked about is going to their dads apt today. It hurts. My 6 year old asked dad if I could come too!! Well he didn't invite me personally so I am planning on going to see a girlfriend. <P>It's really hard not to be angry around them and distant but I was that way when he left in June and it made him angry. So this time I will do my best to be the wife he wants to come home to but I'm going to take care of myself. I'm not waiting around for him. I guess he needs this time to realize that we are what he needs.