<p>[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: cantletgo ]</p>

Hello, I am so sorry to hear all the pain you are going through, and I wish I could give you a big hug, a smile and some words of advice.. This will have to do, close your eyes and feel the arms of God around you. (no really, right now) It is so terrible not knowing what to do, and there are no answers that I can give you, just trust God (your instincts, that is why he gave them to us).

I know this is going to sound very cynical but do everything you can to protect your intersts. I think your gut feelings are right on the money and with the games this man is playing it's very possible you will lose your house. Don't sign anything, stand your ground and if possible get a lawyer involved. Your H is baiting you and acting like a world class [censored], don't give an inch, he needs to prove himself before you let any gaurd down. Do not trust him.

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 11:04 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 11:05 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Hi Cantletgo,<p>I don't agree with Laura (sorry Laura). I thought that too and did everything I could, and all I got was USED by my own husband. He still in the end left, and after all of that called me COLD on top of it!!! I mean I was hot hot hot (lost all the weight and looked real good, bought sexy jammies), but thru the FOG he couldn't see his nose on his face let alone the efforts I was making.<p>So, Cantletgo, I think you already know the answer to it all. I know you want your husband but this is what happens a lot of times. The WS at first promises to give the BS everything and let her keep her lifestyle, but a funny thing happens with a little time...the OW starts to put in her two cents about your divorce undoubtedly thinking about what SHE's gonna get out of the deal, and then the WS becomes nasty and tries to leave you out on the street. He's playing games, hon. He's changing the rules. He wants that house sold.<p>My X did almost all the same stuff to me. I caught him seeing OW a few times after it was "over" and he always had the same types of excuses. If he's still treating you like this, there's a good reason, and it's probably the OW is pulling his strings now, posturing for the best outcome for the divorce to set herself up with a real nice nest egg.<p>I wouldn't be saying this to you if I hadn't lived it myself. He has no respect for you. How can you have a marriage with no respect? I also believe the chances are you'll have to sell the house and split it, depends on what state you live in and if you have kids or not (I can't remember).<p>I think deep down, you know what he's doing and it may be time to protect yourself. That is the hard call tho. If you sign the dismissal, he'd have to file over again, which would cost him another $800, and he threatens next time he'll be harsher about stuff. If you don't, he'll likely attempt to change the current divorce papers the way he wants it anyway, and likely a judge will let him because judges usually want everything split right down the middle. So, I think you should probably count on having to sell the house even tho I know you don't want to (unless of course you have kids in which case you have a bigger chance to keep it) - so I would sign the dismissal and make him have to redo it over again. I think the outcome is going to be the same whether you sign or not - divorce has gotten very generic in the courts these days.<p>Wow, this was long, sorry. Cantletgo, he's not coming out of the fog which I believe means the affair is still flaming. I think you'd be better off without him (but still let HIM be the one to do it). It sure hurts like heck too for a really long time, but sometimes love isn't enough, when it's one-sided.<p>Take care.

<p>[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: cantletgo ]</p>

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 11:05 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Well, Cynthia K.R. if you ever find these posts, I hope you rot in hell for what you have done to not only my family, but your own.<p>[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: cantletgo ]</p>