I am a 25 yr old who is three weeks from giving birth. I married my husband 5 months ago. He quit his job a month later and I have been supporting us and my son from a previos mariage for the duration of my pregnancy. He has not worked in the last 5 months I quit my job today because I can't work anymore. We have no money saved and very liitle baby supplies. I have no incme coming in and he hasn't found a job yet. He tells me that I am not supportive of him and all I do is complain about what he's done around the house while I'm at work. Yet days go by and he doesn't even look for a job. He sits on the computer and spends some of our money on beer. We have had problems for the last two years about trust and commitment so things haven't been good. But now I am in a place where I have to think about how I am going to take care of my son and new baby, beacause he isn't doing anything financially to help. He also yells at me, call me horrible names and accuses me of cheating on him. I don't know what to do. Do I let him yell at me and in front of my son because were married? When do I have to say enough and take care of myself, since he wont? Am I at the point where I need to have him leave so I can secure my life and home? Please help me if you have any advice.

I am sorry to hear that instead of being jubliant over the arrival of your baby, there is so much doubt and unhappiness. I don't know what your story is, but it seems that your current situation is not a good one.<p>You need to think of your son, your unborn child, and yourself. Your husband is not holding up his end of the bargain. Does he suffer from depression or some other mental disorder? Was he like this before you got married?<p>Right now, you need support. No one is going to hire a woman nine months pregnant. I would call Human Services and Social Services to see what your options are. There are programs out there for separated women with children. Social Services can give you a number for WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) It is a program that provides nutritional food for mother, baby, and kids five and under. They also help out with diapers and formula. <p>Your safety and your child's safety are paramount. If your husband refuses to work and continues to be abusive, leave. If he suffers from depression, try and get him to seek help. There are many agencies out there that will help, but you need to make the call.<p>Good luck.<p>[ February 27, 2002: Message edited by: HappyMac ]</p>

I saw that this was your second post, and went back to read your first one. Having read this one first, I would respond differently to your first one than the others did. (Because my XH was mentally abusive, and drove a wedge between me and my family by making me believe they had done all these wrongs to me over the years.)<p>You haven't said how long you have known your H, how long you've lived together, if the yelling and name-calling began when he lost his job or started before that ... I think all of these things would help us help you.<p>While I can't defend verbal abuse at all, if it is only recently that these things have been happening, it could be due to his depression and very treatable. If the abuse has been going on for much longer than that, I'm afraid that there is little to do unless the abuser seeks help on his/her own.<p>Please post more info about your family and marriage.