Hello all. In brief summary, my wife and I have been separated since 12/28/01 and for the last three years she has been involved with three dfferent men (that I know about). A week after the separation, we got a bill at the house that signaled the start of a cell phone plan she had just started. Not sure what to do. We have two great kids, now in school, and while she has given me many reasons to give up on her, I feel compelled to stay the course. Would that still be true if I became emotionally involved with someone else? Maybe not, but I am trying to steer clear of that and give it my all.<p>10 year aaniversary is next month. Either in jest or to lighten the mood, she hints that she says she gets diamonds. While I know what my initial response is (why?!), I am sensitive to this element of testing that seems to occur ever so subtly. In other words, if I act in good faith and try to keep our interaction civil, then everything stays on an even keel, day-to-day. But what of this quasi-challenge (will he or won't he get me what I think I deserve--Ws words). But, if I get irked daydreaming about the past I wonder if I am being taken advantage of again. So many signs are still there. My gut reaction is that when we do finally meet with a counselor around the "Diamond" day, she will unload a monster on me and send me reeling.<p>I am asking for direct advice relative to the first really significant anniversary. How can I communicate hope without being a doormat? <p>Prayers to you all.

Rhinestones. <p>Sorry for your pain.

or cubic zirconia...it's not a diamond but close...just like what your wife is putting you through...she isn't being a wife, but close! Sorry, if that sounds harsh, but it sounds like you are a wonderful man and she just wants what she wants when she wants it! What is SHE giving you for the 10th...???? I wouldn't do the diamond thing...that is for the wife who gives her all to you, but that is just me.

IMVVHO, give her CZs.<p>Jo

I'm all for the CZ's. My H bought me a diamond(?) band for our fifth anniversary, which coincided with his total withdrawal from our marriage. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Be sneaky about it though..... How about a nice 10K gold setting for a big faker? Not her, the CZ. I hear Wal Mart is having a sale....<p>Put your whole heart into love, but not your wallet. It is the things you do and the things you say that show love, not the things you buy.<p>Elizabeth<p>PS - Gonna send you mail when I catch up K?!<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: justthewife ]</p>