I was raised Catholic but I got burned out at an early age because my mom pushed it to hard on me.<p>I have been searching for a non-denominational church in the last few years. My STBX is Jewish and she didn't want our daughter raised Catholic. My ex-neighbor told me about a church near my new home. A place that is supposed to be fun and where you can meet people.<p>It has been 5 months since our separation. I still cannot eat, sleep, or stop complaining. I am hurting very bad. I wish I could stop complaining.<p>I am on anti-depressants right now (Celexa) and they seem to be helping a little bit.<p>I need another outlet. I need to heal. For the person that has not been to church in a year of Sundays, would God help me heal?

Absolutely God will help you. <p>Be like Nike and just do it.<p>People can "talk" about going to church all day long. It is hard to put the motivation and action behind actually getting up Sunday morning and doing it.<p>Please post back on Monday and tell us how you liked it!

I agree "Just Do It"....<p>Whether you spent time away or not 1st John 1:9 tells us "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."<p>I was telling "Eyes Wide Shut" this morning about an article that I received in Sunday School last week. Typically, I through these out but I held on to this one because of it's message. The article is about dealing with things through a divorce in a Christian manner.<p>I don't have time to type it but if anyone wants a copy they can e-mail me a fax #.<p>billwb70@hotmail.com

God wil definitely help if you ask Him. I have been a Christian for many years and so had my husband. He has left me and said he doesn't blelieve God is interested in him any more but I keep praying for both of us. Yopu will find both comfort and support in church.Jante

Try http://www.chnetwork.org/
...God can save you no matter what age you are
...no matter what your faith experience had been in the past.<p>It was my faith that got me through my xW's affair...
...through Plan A... Plan B... Divorce...
...and even now!<p>You haven't heard it often enough...
You are loved!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR

God loves you, and instead of waiting for Sunday, sit down and have a chat with Him now. The comfort I have in my faith is what gets me through the tough days. <p>Elizabeth

But I don't know who to talk to him now. I am hurt, confused, sad, and angry.<p>I find that I am defensive when someone says something about it. My emotions are raw. I blame the STBX for the downfall of our marriage even though I know I had my part too.<p>The only thing that started me on this path was a comment by another. I saw the STBX one day and she wanted a hug. I said No but she hugged me anyway. Then I said I can't keep doing this because it is having my emotions go all over the place. Then I started complaining again about why she couldn't communicate better. I shouldn't have complained; I should've just hugged.<p>Then someone told me to think of God in all situations. The phrase WWGD "What would God do" is been on my mind. I try to keep it there most of the time but I forget some times. My emotions are just to raw right now.

Everything you just told us, tell God. He wants to be your intimate friend. Tell him how hurt you are. I also journal my prayers to the Lord, just write out my feelings in a notebook addressed to Jesus, from me.<p>I also use to right scriptures on my hand so i would constantly be reminded. Like Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

God provides in strange ways. Did you notice that most of the divorce support groups (free) are run by churches? Maybe that is your way back. You don't need to be a member, but you'll find many helpful souls, and possibly even a new church. Open your eyes.

One of my favorite and most repeated prayers is this:<p>God,
I can't see around corners, but you can.
Please lead me where I need to be today.
Open my mouth when it needs to be opened and shut it when it needs to be shut.
My ability to discern and reason is very limited right now, so send billboards for the things I need to see.
If I am about to engage in unhealthy behavior that will not serve me well, trip me and stop me from myself.
Hold me. Be with me. Guide me.<p>
I say it over and over and over and over and over.... you get the point

You know. I'ts ok to be angry at God. Sometimes we need to get through the anger before we can really let Him help us heal.<p>Know that God is LOVE, and does not want us to be in pain. When we are hurting it's usually because someone is exercising their free will and hurting us or because God is letting something happen in our lives so that we can get closer to Him.<p>You should read Secrets of the Vine. It discusses a chapter of John in the bible. Alot of people find it very helpful in understanding times like these.<p>Also know that God wants us to Pray Alway, and to ask for what we want. Maybe He's waiting for you to ask. And then remember, God knows what we need, even better than we know ourselves, so He will give us what we need if we let Him.<p>K

Lemme show you how I do it. I need to squeeze in a quick one right now anyway.<p>Jesus,
I'm so tired now. I've tried to keep it together all day and I need you to give me the strength to make it through a few more hours. Thank you for taking care of me today on my long drive. Help me have patience with the kids till I can get them into bed, and bless them with understanding because I haven't had much today. Help me to forgive him, I am so angry again. Help me show my friend how easy it is to talk to You, help him be strong, help him with a tiny seed of faith. Keep my folks in Your hands tonight on their trip, let them relax and enjoy each other. I haven't slept in 2 days, please grant me peace. I love You, thank you for my Dad who is so understanding, and thank you for my babies.

A friend of mine sent me a wonderful email the other day about a child who was sitting on the floor watching his mom do embroidery. The child's side looked like a mess, but his mom explained that on her side, there was a plan, and it was beautiful. Sorry to deviate from the question, but I was going through all sorts of ups and downs until I read that. The whole point is...I tend to shy away from a lot of organized church, but I am very much a believer in God. Since my stbx said he wanted a divorce, I have just poured my heart out to God. I ask at least 5 times a day for serenity. He does answer. We can't always see how he answers at first, but the pattern comes together. I apologize to him when I rant in my prayers, and I know he forgives my anger, and soothes it. I still feel angry at times, and I still feel very sad, but, as my sis-in-law told me, the bad feelings don't come from God, but he can help deal with them. Do you think God really minds if you are honest with him? I don't think so. He knows us in and out, and we can pretend not to be angry or confused, or we can tell him what's wrong and ask for help. And he will. Bless you and just keep trying to get that conversation going. All I can add to this is that I know for absolute certain that God listens when you talk. I have no doubts on this point at all. If you can't get to church, just talk. He will listen and he will help.

I can tell you from absolute recent experience that he will help you heal. I was about 10 minutes from moving out at the request of my wife when I was moved to do something that I would never have done in my life. It went against everything that I believe in and thought at the time was right. However, I had been praying and asking for guidance. I believe that God guided me to do this, even though had you asked me I would have thought it wrong. Well, my marriage is back on track and we are very committed. No it wasn't abusive or anything.<p>I, like you, had not been going to church although I was raised in church 3 times a week. I recently returned and have found it to be a completely different experience. When I was young, I thought of it almost as punishment. Boring and tedious. But I have found a new church that is so uplifting and wonderful. It has given me so much strength and warmth. It has refocused my life which has been off track for the last 15 years. <p>My wife has stated that she wants to start going with me and my children. My boys and I have been going for about 2 months now. They love it and I hope that she will as well. I hope that she will find friends in the church and want to become more involved, but I have not really been involved other than for the sake of my sanity and love either. I hope that we will continue in our current happiness and build a joyous life together. <p>Say the course. Love your child. Support your wife even in your absence. Find a church that makes you happy. God DOES heal. I am living proof. Give yourself over and believe. I had been praying for reconciliation and love so much but finally I prayed for contentment and solace. At that moment I all of the sudden remembered the story about the miracles that occurred in the Bible. The constant thing with all of them is that they believed that good things would happen. at that moment I trusted God and Jesus, and believed that they had a plan for my life and that no matter what that plan was, that they knew what was best. <p>Well, I can tell you that my plan and their plan was definitely NOT THE SAME. However, I am thrilled with the results which fit my own very much. Trust in God and give yourself over to that trust. Live your life and support your family. Find a church that supports you and that you can support. <p>To answer your question once again...<p>Yes, God does help immensely !!!

Would a counselor help you heal?<p>would a good self help book such as "The Road Less Travelled" help?<p>would adding exercise to your daily regimen help?<p>would becoming a muslim help?<p>would setting daily goals and make a plan on how to live help?<p>you see, in the end, the concept of god is the embodiment of the concept of hope, and of self reflection. there are many ways to get to where you might want to get, and religion is a very popular way. . . but most importantly, you have to decide to try and keep your destiny in your own hands. . . <p>so, what makes you tick, feel better, and energize you? <p>i also think you should do some research. . . do you like to read? do you read alot? do you like people? <p>wiftty<p>[ March 02, 2002: Message edited by: WhenIfindthetime ]</p>

I pray quite a bit - not as much as I should. And I have given up much of the formality of prayer that I learned.<p>Most of my prayers are quickies. Like one I said in a meeting where x was present a week or two ago, "Please don't let me say anything stupid. Help me keep my mouth shut." And I sat there and watched x do something that would have hurt me if I had taken it personally. But I was able to see it in a totally different light. <p>I used to think God would rescue me and fix everything. Now I don't see it that way. He does open windows of opportunity. And He provides comfort and strength. I will grant Him the occaisional miracle of healing. I give Him credit for the amazing healing strength of the human body.<p>But, He lets us endure the consequences of our actions. And provides us strength and courage to endure the sometimes negative nature of those consequences.<p>I can't tell you how many times I have found messages from him. One time, in a particularly bad time for me, I was putting a reused plastic food container together to store something in the refrigerator. I looked down at the lid and it had some Bible verse on it. Something like, "And our Lord will provide strength for the weak." To me, it seemed like a personal message. <p>And once, driving through the boondocks in southern Alabama, hundreds of miles from home, with both of my children sound asleep in the backseat of the car at about midnight, I passed a church. The sign out front said, "Seek God and He will find you."<p>That's always worked for me.<p>Talk to God as if He is your friend. You don't have to tell him what you feel. He knows. <p>Something like this:<p>God, I feel so much pain. I can hardly stand it any more. You know how hard this is. I'm afraid it is going to consume me. Please be with me and give me courage and strength for whatever comes before me. Help me deal with all this. Be with my child and her mother. Heal our hearts and home. Help me to be the husband and father you want me to be and to meet the needs of my family. But most of all, just hold me and let me lean on you for courage and strength.<p>or even:<p>Dear God, please help me. I can't hold up much longer. You are bigger and stronger than me. Please help me.<p>That will do. That's all He needs. He's there and he cares and He's listening - all the time.

I am Catholic and I used to go to church with my grandparents 20 years ago most Sundays. I am 35 now and believe me since going again at the beginning of January and reading the new testament I have found peace in myself and I am projecting a more pleasant, understanding, forgiving attitude. God teaches, Wisdom, love and forgiveness. All this has helped me and my WAW has told me she has noticed the changes in me. W walked out on me 13 months ago and yet I feel by making these changes for me and keeping them regardless if W comes back or not I will be a better person. It was my own fault my W left but up until I started going too churh and discovering sites as this one I was still a stubborn mule. God would approve of this site because we are changing ourselves for the better and believe in saving our marriages. God hates divorce. So find yourself a peaceful church.
Scott (UK)