Please help me refine my MB/DBing technique.<p>Although my situation is increasingly desperate (as time is probably running out), I'm trying not to be pushy or to seem needy, trying to go on with my life, trying to appear happy (although that's tough at times), trying to give her space and not to crowd her with affection or touching (which she doesn't want).<p>So I guess as part of that I'm trying to live my life, to be a bit withdrawn from her (to show that I know that life will go on with her or without her), and to seem interested, but not overly interested, in what she's doing. Yet, I don't want to seem cold or uncaring, either because it will reinforce her negative opinion of me. Yet, the happier I seem, and the more I seem to have "moved on," the more she seems to think that I have finally accepted the outcome of this D, and there then seem to be fewer obstacles to finalizing the D and implementing divisions of property, etc.<p>Am I doing this right? Should I be withdrawn, or should I be loving? Is is possible to do both?<p>We're also scheduled (after 18 months) to go to a counseling session next week. Her agenda (assuming she attends) is likely to be to talk about D implementation issues, parenting time, and the like. My agenda is to work through our problems and fix the marriage. I feel like I shouldn't be pushing reconciliation too hard (or I'll seem needy, pushy, etc.)(and my prior efforts in that regard haven't been successful), but if I don't do it at the counseling session, how will it ever happen?<p>Also, W has a birthday (38) coming up in a couple of weeks. How should I handle that? I've stopped with the gifts/flowers, etc. (which probably were a mistake in the first place). But this is a birthday. Do I (a) ignore it; (b) say "Happy Birthday," and leave it at that; (c) get her a card (only); (d)do something more?<p>Thanks in advance for any advice you may have.
