Ok my threads are on Divorce Busting site. But for more advice please..
Briefly my W and I have been separated 13 months. OM is involved now since September 2001. OM is a co-worker. He has offered the world and I know him and his intentions are good. My D is looming
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I don't blame my W as I switched off and neglected her needs. Typical eh? We had been together 12 yrs (no kids) she was 16. me 22.
Now I know about OM I have applied all the rules from this site. A little too late I might have thought but all is not lost.
She lives with her parents and from January she has been going there over night sun-mon.
My question is...she was here at my house (and once hers) Thursday. We get on great and she has said for the first time in 12 months (actually 3 times in February) that I have changed, (for the better of course).
So that is a plus. Me listening to her talk with patience and showing that I care, all unconditional is helping my situation. I am having the fortune to show W these changes although we have moved on. I have had to let go yet the door is always open.
Thursday is the 2nd time I have saw her since xmas day and since January 29th we have had pleasant conversations on the phone.
I always remain upbeat, and show I care. I am doing the opposite to what I did before she had the courage too leave me.
Anyway W was here Thursday for 3 hours. She owed me money and she was dropping it off. I never mentioned OM or OR. It was general chat about how work is etc. During this I gave constant eye contact to W and just listened. She became tearful and told me she thinks about me when she wakes up and all day. She also says "I think Scott, Scott, Scott..constantly on my mind all day". And that when she sits next to OM he asks her "why are you so quiet? You are thinking about Scott aren't you?"
Now I am not going to pressure her into why do you think that etc..I wanted to listen to her.
I am just confused to why W would say this to me if she has moved on. These are just a few things that really confuses me. She has cried on the phone 2 weeks before in work. She phoned from a private office and was returning my call. She said she will get the money down to me some how and then bust out crying telling me she thinks of me everyday. I mean I did ask her is it because you worry if I am eating properly but the phone rang and I was distracted. I might add that my W loved me so much and was devoted to me. I broke her heart. She still loves me and always will but she says their is something missing. She did say xmas time that she doesn't think she could get intimate with me again.
Ok my story is longer than this but what sort of messages are being sent here? You tell your H this after you have told him too move on and we are heading for a D do you?? Any comments on how you see this welcome, thanks
Scott<p>[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: smileysmile ]</p>
