Okay...so i filed for divorce 2 weeks ago so that we could seperate from each other and i could maintain custody of the kids and house. She has now gotten on appartment and moved some of our stuff into it. <p>I am not sure i will put the divorce on hold like i said i would. She has hurt me so badly and i have been in plan "A" for 7 months and nothing has changed...except in me. Her first available day she had free after seperation...she ran right to OM and spent the day and night with him. <p>She told me this seperation was to see if she would miss me. She is using it to test the waters with him..and then if it don't work out with him...then come back to me. I think that won't work. <p>How do you agree to ground rules in a seperation or do people simply do what they want as though they really aren't married ? Knowing that my wife will probably get together with the OM every other weekend is turning me away from her and i am afraid my love for her is dieing a painful death right now and if/when she ever does decide to come back.....i will say it's too late. <p>Anyone got any pointers for this ? How can we solve any problems if we aren't talking about anything but the kids? She needs counseling SO BADLY, but refuses to go (surprise). <p>Things at our house is so much more relaxed WITHOUT her and all her stress being there. I hate seeing her in such a condition...but she has done it to herself. Why does she continue to live in such despair ?

We say they are in the fog, that is how they do it. You can't solve any marriage issues as long as she is with OM. It might be best if you go to plan B. Have no contact with her.