I’m pretty new here so to speak, and I don’t really understand the symbols used here yet but I’m learning, so please bear with me. I really don’t know what to do right now because my w of 3 yrs doesn’t want to engage in sexual acts anymore and it’s driving me crazy. My W claims she doesn’t need it and that it really doesn’t matter if she gets it or not. She also claim’s that she hates to perform oral sex or have it performed on her, but in the beginning she would always accommodate me sexually and perform various acts that she now mysteriously hates to do. This has been going on for a little over a yr now and it’s getting very frustrating. In the beginning I tried to deal with it and even talk to her about it but she would always say she will try to give it to me more often or okay we will do it later but when later came she always had an excuse. I don’t know what to do because like most men in their mid 20’s sex is very much a necessity. It’s getting to the point where I can’t stand to be around her because things she does and says frustrates me because of the lack of sex. I don’t want to sound like that’s all I want from her because that’s not true.. We have a very loving relationship and we do lot’s of things together, but since the drought I can’t seem to control my emotions everything she does seems to make me upset. Sex for me has always been away to relax and come together as one with my wife. I often find myself pondering the thought of leaving her because of this. In my life sex (at the moment) plays a very big part. The emotional connection is there but the physical connection has faded between us. I love her very much and we have been through a great deal of ordeals and survived, that alone shows me we can me it through anything together. I just don’t know what to do about the sexual part of the relationship should I leave her because my needs aren’t being met and find someone else to meet them? Or should I wait it out longer? Am i wrong for thinking like this? I don’t want to look back ten yrs later and regret not leaving earlier because things haven’t changed. <p>I don’t know what to do???

Do you and your wife know about the emotional needs part of this website. I myself am relatively new here too, but was reading this site for almost a whole year now. I could never get my husband involved in the aspects of this site. We had some similar problems in our 3 1/2 year marriage. For one thing the physical part of sex I needed less often than he did, he could not understand that there may be a different need. One of my problems I did find out to be my birth control pill, it killed my sex drive. Maybe if your wife is on you could ask her if that is part of her change, maybe the hormones are affecting her. Or maybe just introducing her to the questionaire on here will help you 2 talk about it. Either way, maybe you don't need to be on this board as much as the emotional needs board, don't give up yet!

There are lots of valid explainations for a woman to lose her sex drive. Not only the birth control pill, but the depo provera birth control shot can diminish libido.<p>Prozac is well known for making women inorgasmic. If she isn't getting there, she might wonder why she should do it just for you.<p>There are also different medical/emotional problems that can cause this. Has she recently had a traumatic experience, or is she finally beginning to come to terms with something in her childhood? <p>I'd say at this point communication is the key. Make a plan to discuss this, not confrontational, just concern and love. Sex does not make a marriage, but it is a part of marriage.<p>You said that things were fine earlier, so something must have changed. <p>Could she feel like you aren't meeting her needs outside of the bedroom, and is reacting to that?<p>Could she be having an affair? I hope not.<p>It sounds to me like you two need to really take some time and work on this. <p>Don't leave or jump to any rash decisions. For better or for worse counts when it comes to sex too. <p>Elizabeth