I miss my children terribly. She has them now and I get to see them on the weekends and at church, but she is the one who had the affair and walked out on us all one night. I want them back!!! I work full time so I would require a baby sitter and even though I don't trust my wife (she has been invaded by some alien woman) I don't want to deny the kids a mother. They are bouncing around between grandparents and aunts now with mom but I want them to come home! What should I do?

What is y'all's status?
Seperated
Legally Seperated
Filed<p>What is the age and sex of the kids?

Just separated at this point. I have made it clear that I will not file, but she does not want to work this out. As far as I know she has not filed, but she is still seeing the other guy.<p>Boy 8
Girl 5
Girl 2

((((Rob)))))<p>Man, that's a hard one. Of course the easy answer is that you and her sit down and make up a parenting plan that will allow you more access to the children. Is that something that is possible?<p>Short of divorce there is legal separation which would involve an enforcable parenting plan.<p>Not only is this hurting you it's got to be killing the kids. Who did what to whom is really on no importance right now, what's best for the kids health and welfare is number one. If you can't talk with her about it and come to some kind of agreement then you better see an attourney fast. I wouldn't let much water go under the bridge on this because if something goes to court the arrangement you have now may be played against you.<p>Best of luck.....

Not all states have seperation agreements..because they don't have what some deem as 'legal seperations' or required seperations before a divorce can be filed..<p>like here if you want to get divorced..you go get divorced..the only stipulation is that the person filing has to have lived in the state for 6 months before they can file..<p>So the visitations and such can only be done w/ a divorce document..or mutual agreements between the parties..<p>I'd suggest that you sit down w/ her and talk to her about visitation...or call and make arraingements to get the kids when your off work..<p>And so what you would require a babysitter, isn't that what your wife is doing?? Grandma and aunt are in essence babysitting..as for any single parent w/ small children..they need someone to watch the kids..You may not think this is best..but hey..it's something that would be required no matter who has the kids..you or her..

<p>[ March 20, 2002: Message edited by: newstartj ]</p>