Hi, I am going to tell u my story...
I have been with my husband for eight now, we have 2 girls age 6 and 3. About 2 years ago my h left me, it was the worse time of my life, I got terribly ill during the 9 month separation. I where able to work things out and he ask to come home, I welcomed him back with open arm. Since that time we have working on a better marriage, he graduated from school and was able to find 2 jobs on the out skirt of town. Our major problem is trust, I work at it every day and have had some fall backs, like when he lies to me. I had a best friend since I was 13 (I am 28 now) she always have been close to me and became close to him. I never had a problem of them seeing each other or having conversation, but just before Christmas this became hidden from me, I would see long conversation on his cell phone bill to her and when I would confront him he would deny it, one night after the 3 of us watching movies he drove her home, this is not unusual, but his particular time it took him an hour, I confronted both of them and they both said noting was going on.. eventually in January he told me that he had been confiding in her about tings that where going on between us. I was hurt that she did not tell me this. I then found out that the phone that I put in my name for her had a long distance charge of $1800, she is moving out of town next week and is leaving me with this bill, needless to say I am no longer her friend. In the beginning of February my H came to me and told me that he wants to apply to a job about 9 hours away from where we live, and that if he got the job, he would like to move there by himself for a few months then come for me and the girls when we where a little more caught up on our bills. I was a little thrown by this and asked him if this is how he was leaving me, he reassured me that it was not and that was very committed to our marriage. Well yesterday he dropped a bomb on me, he said that he want out, that he is tired of working on things. I am devastated to say the least, I am not ready to give up on my marriage but he says he is. I know that he means it cause this didn't happen during a fight, it was out of the blue..
I am so scared.
I love him so much. There are 2 things in my life that I sacred more than anything and that is my marriage and my family.
He says that he still loves me, but has to go.
My friend took me to the emergency room yesterday to get sum paxil cause I am so scared of becoming sick like last time, but I Have already started..
At Christmas time he had told me that sometimes he think of leaving when money is so tight, but would never go threw with it, cause he loves me and the kids and when he is away working that he misses his family, and that he loves the security of home, and that he finally "got it", what this all means. So I have really been believing that I was in a secure world.
But now everything that I knew to be my life is gone..
I don't know how to cope with this..

I'm sorry that you are having such problems. I know how horrible it is, and how hard it is to keep it together to take care of the kids. <p>You said you went to the er for paxil, do you have a regular doctor you can trust? If you don't, it is really important that you get one soon. There are other medications that might help, and the er doc can only have so much of your story. Paxil is a good one, but if you have a regular doctor he can listen to your whole story, figure out what med is best for you, and refer you to counseling, even if you don't have insurance, there are counselors that work on a sliding fee scale, or thru your county human services area, anyway, the doc can point you in the right direction, and it is important that you start taking care of yourself so things don't get bad again. I know that feeling!!!<p>There are so many people here who have had things thrown at them like this. They have great advice, and I noticed your post went unanswered a day or two, well, the weekends are not the busy time on the board. Everyone gets busy with family and such, sorry if you felt ignored, you weren't. <p>Have you read about plan a and b on this site? There are wonderful ideas of how to get a marriage back on track here.<p>I think that friend that is sticking you with the phone bill is a real jerk. It would be best if you could get her out of your families life. She doesn't sound like a friend at all!<p>Elizabeth

Please take care of yourself physically right now. Get a support system in place - friends, family, a counselor(I would suggest one very strongly), a preist/miister, and God.<p>You need to take life one hour, one day at a time.<p>IT sounds as if your husband may have had at least an Emotional Affair with your friend. It doesn't sound as if your marriage is over, but it sounds like you should try to Plan A if you can.<p>Please read the info. on this site and His Needs/Her Needs by Harley and even Surviving an Affair by Harley. Then you will have a better understanding of what is happening in your marriage and you will be able to make some decisions about what you want to do.<p>Plan A is basically identifying the needs of yoru husband and then trying to fulfill those needs, as well as for you to identify all Love Busters and then to stop using LBs in your marriage.<p>The theory is that if you begin to fulfill your husband's needs, then he will want to fulfill yours and he will not want to leave the marriage.<p>Please also read the info. on the GQII board under Marriage Builders by WilliamJ and the Welcome Newcomers post by Orchid. These two posts will also help you to understand the principles of MBs.<p>Unfortunately begging and pleading will not help, but these principles might. <p>Keep posting with questions. K