Hi, I am going to tell u my story...
I have been with my husband for eight now, we have 2 girls age 6 and 3. About 2 years ago my h left me, it was the worse time of my life, I got terribly ill during the 9 month separation. I where able to work things out and he ask to come home, I welcomed him back with open arm. Since that time we have working on a better marriage, he graduated from school and was able to find 2 jobs on the out skirt of town. Our major problem is trust, I work at it every day and have had some fall backs, like when he lies to me. I had a best friend since I was 13 (I am 28 now) she always have been close to me and became close to him. I never had a problem of them seeing each other or having conversation, but just before Christmas this became hidden from me, I would see long conversation on his cell phone bill to her and when I would confront him he would deny it, one night after the 3 of us watching movies he drove her home, this is not unusual, but his particular time it took him an hour, I confronted both of them and they both said noting was going on.. eventually in January he told me that he had been confiding in her about tings that where going on between us. I was hurt that she did not tell me this. I then found out that the phone that I put in my name for her had a long distance charge of $1800, she is moving out of town next week and is leaving me with this bill, needless to say I am no longer her friend. In the beginning of February my H came to me and told me that he wants to apply to a job about 9 hours away from where we live, and that if he got the job, he would like to move there by himself for a few months then come for me and the girls when we where a little more caught up on our bills. I was a little thrown by this and asked him if this is how he was leaving me, he reassured me that it was not and that was very committed to our marriage. Well yesterday he dropped a bomb on me, he said that he want out, that he is tired of working on things. I am devastated to say the least, I am not ready to give up on my marriage but he says he is. I know that he means it cause this didn't happen during a fight, it was out of the blue..
I am so scared.
I love him so much. There are 2 things in my life that I sacred more than anything and that is my marriage and my family.
He says that he still loves me, but has to go.
My friend took me to the emergency room yesterday to get sum paxil cause I am so scared of becoming sick like last time, but I Have already started..
At Christmas time he had told me that sometimes he think of leaving when money is so tight, but would never go threw with it, cause he loves me and the kids and when he is away working that he misses his family, and that he loves the security of home, and that he finally "got it", what this all means. So I have really been believing that I was in a secure world.
But now everything that I knew to be my life is gone..
I don't know how to cope with this..

I am so sorry you are going through this pain. Wish there was something that I could do or say. I do feel your pain. I am actually on the surviving side of the pain. My h told me Feb 2 that he wanted a divorce. He filed last Friday. I am just trying to get on with my life now. I know the feeling. Not being able to breathe, not wanting to get up, not wanting to LIVE. I've been there. Know that God has a plan for you. Live the best way you can. Even if it's only taking that next breathe. It will get better. You are a very capable woman. You have your girls to look after. When I was doing poorly, my son was doing poorly. Now that I am doing great, my s is doing wonderfully. I still have set backs, but he's not worth my misery. I too was willing to do WHATEVER it took to save my marriage and family. Even after OW. I would have done just about ANYTHING to save it. Unfortunately, HE was not strong enough. HE is a coward. I AM STRONG AND WILL BE THE SURVIVOR!!<p>Take care of yourself and your girls. Pray often to God. He's there.<p>(((((SUMGAL)))))