Let me start by saying that I do not want a divorce. But, I live in a community property state. I put my husband through chef's school, real estate school, EMT training, and, finally, nursing school, so he's only been the breadwinner for our family for 3 years out of the 18 we've been married. I have several savings accounts for the kids' education, investment, etc., as well as a 40lK, IRA, and company retirement. Turns out he's entitled to 1/2 of all of that, as well as our house, which only has 6 years left on the mortgage. <p>He says he doesn't want any of my money and will put it in writing. The only way I see to do that is to file for divorce and get it in writing. The filing is held for six months; after that time, I would have 2 years to let the divorce finalize. Of course, he could do the same thing and get a divorce in six months, whether I want it or not.<p>Anyone have suggestions?<p>camp83

Is this your husband or not? Why would you not want to leave any money to him? If you are not divorcing for other reasons, this seems a pretty petty way to control money.<p>I guess I;m confused. I think you should talk to an attorney and see what other options you have.

My husband has left me for another woman who is encouraging him to divorce. He has only been working for the last 3 years and asked me to quit my full-time job to spend more time with the family, which I did. Now he has moved out and is entitled to half of everything I worked so hard for--he did not help with child care, housekeeping, or work. He simply went to school, which I paid for, and stayed out with friends, etc., the rest of the time. I was willing to sacrifice because I saw light at the end of the tunnel; when he finished school, we would have time to spend together! Now I'm not getting anything and feel like I have to protect my assets so I can send my kids to college and stay in my house.<p>camp83

Definitely see an attorney, and if your husband will put it in writing - get him to do it ASAP before he changes his mind!<p>Originally community property was developed to protect the wife who used to never work but stay at home and take care of teh kids. Now however, with women working, it doesn't always have the same benefit.<p>I know how you feel - I did something similar with my husband and was waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel too, and as soon as we get there he finds someone else.<p>Good Luck. K

A lawyer will be able to help get all of this down and approved by the court. Although you may live in a community property state it is not always cut and dried.<p>Because you were the one working and supporting him through school they can make allowances for that. Because I put my x thru school and other than that have been a full time mom they put something in the marital settlement agreement that he will have to pay for my schooling and associated costs if I decide to go back to school within the next several years.<p>The lawyers are the experts, and even though you are in a community property state nothing is written in stone - especially if this is something you both want.<p>Do you think that there is a chance to save the marriage? Is he living with the ow? Have you tried marriage counseling? Do you think he might agree to giving it a shot? How long has he been with the ow? Not trying to pry, just trying to see if I could help.<p>Elizabeth