hi,1st time writing here,but have read alot of the posts and I want to thank you all for the help i have used from your entries.But now I have to write.
I am in the middle of a very very biteer divorce/custody battle with x2b.He left us all after a dumb squabble over if I could use the truck he uses,it got physical,and my son interrvened to take my husband off of me and by accident hurt his dad,son and i left filed police statement,as H was on phone with them.H called @ 11;30 at night to inform me he was not coming home.He stayed w/a female employye and her kids,where he remained til 12/02/01 til he got own place out of state 1 hour away.We have been locking horns on everything.I deeply still care for this man and have no clu what to do,for the 1st part(up til 2/14/02 I would ask him to come home ,appologized for all my wrong doings ,asked what I could do to make him come home.I have never cried so much in my life,it's not in my character to do this ever,even when son was hit by a car vs pedestrian and spent 15 days with him in I C U out of state. I do suffer from depression ,bi-polar and ptsd ,been in couseling over 2 years and hubby is well aware of what my sensitive spots are.So what does he do? he leaves me and our children and is trying to take our youngest from me.I have poured my soul out to this man and all I recieve is negative remarks on any subject from him.What gives?Like I said a new day on 02/14/02 I began standing up for myself and children,now I refuse calls,tell him nothing about what happens here,and pretend to be doing great.Iam trying to accept that he wants to be free of me,not very easy ,He wants out so why will he not just go and let me heal? I have asked for marriage counseling with him b4 he left and while I was trying to get him to come home,he states he needs no theraphy.All he seems to want to do is point out my short comings and still believes he has no claim of fault to what has happened.What is he doing? I have realized 1 thing in this though I do love my H unconditionally,but it is time for me to let go and move on and do the best I can do for myself and our children.When will the circus stop?
Please Help!! Sorry if it seems out of sort. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Shelby02,
Welcome to MB> There are many wonderful people here to lend a shoulder to cry on. I'm just sorry we have to meet under these circumstances.<p>Honey, I don't love ANYBODY enough to let them put their hands on me and you shouldn't either. That's not love. Of course, he doesn't need therapy--abusers never think they do. And he wouldn't be coming back to my house unless he went for anger management. Nobody has the right to hit you. I don't know how old your kids are but if you let him come back, what are you telling them? It's okay to hit your spouse? What else could they think? And he's mad at you and your son who was only protecting his mother??<p>Consult an attorney--and I think (it;s just my opinion, tho) that most judges will leave a 6 year old girl with her mother unless there is proof of gross negligence or endangerment. Don't worry. My ex threatens to take my daughter all the time. Just more blah, blah, blah...like I;m supposed to be scared of him. Ha!<p>Take each day as it comes. Every day will be a little better than the day before. Get individual counseling for yourself. Pray if that is your nature, it really does help. And remember, we are here for you, night and day, with real unconditional love. We will love you and support you no matter what you do.<p>[ March 12, 2002: Message edited by: diddallas ]</p>

Thanks Diddallas,
You made me feel not so alnoe out here.Yes I am in counseling,have been for over 2 years to deal with the break down I had.I do have a super woman for a attorney,which I hired on just 10 days ago,b4 that I had this jerk of 1 who did nothing 4 me(never even filed cross complaint in 6 months time).The reason x2b scares me with the custody is cause I tried over dosing on my meds 1 night after we had a fight and he had left to go bowling.The state dept of youth services has been to my house to investigate emotional abuse,which was conviently filed by my family Dr with the aide of my H. The Dr is no longer MY Dr. The stater closed any case and called it unsubstantiated.I look back at things and see that I was in a co-dependent situation and the more I tried to be my own person the worse things became here.Oh btw I live in Ct,and here we have a mandatory parenting class of 6 hours when there is divorce or change in custody.Tonight I graduate .Hahahahah!I also forgot to mention that my D -6 wants not to go to visitation with her dad and he has reasonable rights w/her.He has threatened to take her away to Maine on me many times so,I did not make her go til I had his out-of-state address,which he refused to give me claiming I would stalk him lol.Deanna did go last week-end and I to9ld her to have fun ,Ilove her and see her on Sunday,she reminded me it would be Sat when she wanted to come home.Well she went 6 pm fri,there was no call till her brother called to chat with her and see if things were ok on sat @ 1 p.m..Well that call went fine then @ 6;30 p.pm. sat nite she called crying and wanted to come home,I felt so hurt and there was nothing I could do.I had a way to go get her but have no clu where in RI he lives except street address. She begged her dad to bring her home and he told her no.he would bring her home at 4 pm on sunday.When I confronted x2b he said well she will have to get used to it,I said she is only 6 and there is no need to choke it down her throat.What should have been done? Please tell me what would be a acceptable visitation for her? <p> Thx again for the help

I think you should call your attorney on this one...standard visitation is 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends from friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm and Wednesday evenings from 6 to 8. But I also don't believe in forcing kids to go places where they aren't happy. But, as I said, you need to talk to the super woman and get the LEGAL stand--which as we know, is not always the RIGHT/Moral stand--but it is the law. <p>As for not knowing how to pick up your daughter, anytime you need to know how to get somewhere, go to Smartpages.com---they have door-to-door driving directions. It's easy to use and it's free. I used it last week to figure out how to get to my son's new pad in Austin.<p>It's gonna be okay...he's just doing his best to run your life. Don't let him know it bothers you. That will kill him.