Hello i am a newbie to this site so i don't know any acyronyms. But, here is the story. I am married for 9months now, My wife left me yesterday because I didn't know how to handle my money and I lied to much in our marriage. The lies were about when i am going to get paid, or i said i did this, but i really didn't. She game me a warning that she was going to leave three months ago if i didn't improve. Well since the three months i tried to improve my problem, which there was little improvement but not much. I still love here. I can't be without here. I really realise i have a problem now, and i need help, i need to go to counceling and i need to be more responsable. I want her back in my life, and i told here i am going to get help. But she says its to late after 3 months and left me. How can i convince here that i want to improve and i need help doing it, but she doesn't want to put the effort in trying to help me. She just want to leave me and divorce me.

Ras:<p>I am also new to Marriage Builders, but I have been going through difficulties in my marriage for several years. All I can give you is advice from from my own perspective. I would definetly seek advice from more knowledgable people before taking my advice, but here it is:<p>Get counseling immediatley! Honesty is the route of building the character in all souls. If you are dishonest, there is nothing to build a marriage on. <p>Admit your problem to your wife and be willing to put a plan in writing for her. Ask her for paitence and you follow through with counseling advice, unconditionally. If you don't follow through, you will be risking any chance of reconciliation. <p>New Beginning

Can anyone else give some supported advice

they way to help yourself, is to go get help and start making the changes, hopefully she will see them and know they are real. She can't trust you now she has heard your story before and by your own admission it was a lie. The reason I don't lie is because I don't want to spend the rest of my life justifying my lies. You will be surprised how well the truth works and how much easier the truth is, you will be a better person once you learn to be honest with her and yourself

If making the changes for yourself isn't reason enough, then I doubt it's worth even trying. If you only try to change for your wife, not only will your motivation be weakened by doubts over whether she will ever come back, but the changes are unlikely to "stick" in the event that she does come back.<p>So make up your mind about what kind of man you want to be, and then become that man. Do not depend on your wife for help: being needy will only drive her away. If she can't or won't give it, find help somewhere else.<p>If you can, give your wife the opportunity to see the changes in you, but don't try to convince her of them. If they are real, they should speak for themselves.<p>Trust takes time to build, and even longer to rebuild.