Can anyone help me here.<p>Do you think these are sufficent grounds for divorce in Canada.<p>I also suspect that my wife is suffering from "Borderline Personality Disorder" - but of course refuses o acknowledge this and refuses help<p>
&#61623; She has had an affair, was caught by my son.
&#61623; She has refused to break all contact with this man, despite attempts by myself and the children to reason with her that it cannot be done.
&#61623; Her cell phone bills were being posted to his postal address after she had been discovered having the affair.
&#61623; She has refused me access to these phone bills at all costs.
&#61623; She has shown NO attempts at intimacy at all since August 2000.
&#61623; She accepted a Christmas gift from him after she had been discovered.
&#61623; She has been abusive and violent.
&#61623; She has attempted to overdose on sleeping tablets
&#61623; We have not slept in the same room for at least 9 months.
&#61623; I myself caught them socializing after she had been discovered, she took sides with him that day.
&#61623; As late as October last year she was seen socializing with him while I was out of the country.
&#61623; She has voiced her unwillingness on many occasions to stay in Canada and wants to return to South Africa

Well, I don't know what the laws are in Cananda concerning divorce..but I'm sure you could call a lawyer there and get some information..<p>
Why does she want to move back to South Africa?<p>How long have you been married?<p>How old are children?<p>How often to do you travel? Travel and marriage
most often doesn't work..it may work for a while..and some couples can make it work..but it's not for ALL couples..<p>Has she asked you before about being home more and not traveling?? And if so what has your response been? Did you travel before you were married with your job? Or is this something that started after you married and if it's the latter did you discuss it with her before you started traveling?<p>[ March 14, 2002: Message edited by: ThornedRose ]</p>

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ThornedRose:
[QB]Well, I don't know what the laws are in Cananda concerning divorce..but I'm sure you could call a lawyer there and get some information..<p>We have been married for 23 years - 2 years ago she had an affair - it was the first time I had been away in our whole lives.<p>I have very strong suspicions that she is a Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer.<p>She has dragged me down.<p>It is now more than 18 months after she was discovered by my 16 year-old son. I found out tonight that she is still in contact with OM. Despite everything that I have tried to reason with her.<p>I want her out of my life.

As far as grounds for divorce in Canada I can give you a bit of information.<p>In canada it is generally a mandatory separation of 1 year before you can file for divorce (this would be a no fault divorce).
The mand one year separation can be waived if there is at least one of 2 situation.
1. Infidelity involving sexual relations
2. spousal abuse (either physical, emotional or verbal).<p>I hope that helps a bit.<p>You can find out more info and get all the necessary papers from a Family Justice Court counsellor. Or even the packets for doing your own divorce at a bookstore.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patient Love:
<strong>
The mand one year separation can be waived if there is at least one of 2 situation.
1. Infidelity involving sexual relations
2. spousal abuse (either physical, emotional or verbal).<p>I hope that helps a bit.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
Well, I have just got copied of her last 3 months cellfone bills. His phone number is all over them, AT LEAST once a week. There is even a call she made to him on New Years Day - must have been while I was out shopping.<p>I am telling her to leave this house. I have already prepared both my children - 21 years ols and 17 years old.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by kevan:
<strong>DESPITE ALL THIS
</strong><hr></blockquote>
She still refuses to leave.<p>She says I have no right to tell her to leave, our home is also in her name - her name is also on the Title Deeds and Ownership papers.

Hmmm... no-one here interested in this topic?<p>Have I whined enough over the last two years?<p>Anyone?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by kevan:<p>Is BPD a good enough reason for Divorce?

<small>[ January 26, 2005, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

You didn't mention what province you are from, some laws may not apply in different provinces.<p>I'm from Ontario and what I do know is that you cannot force her out of the marital home. She has as much right to live there as you do until you reach some sort of settlement UNLESS you apply for a court order to force her out of the house (I forgot the correct term for this). Ask your lawyer about this as she has just as much right as you do to apply for one against you and legally force you to move out.<p>You can definitely apply for divorce under adultery as there is so much physical proof and witness testimony against her. There is no doubt you'll have a very strong case against her seeing that your children have been involoved in this whole issue and was caught by your son (witness testimony).<p>Again, talk to a lawyer (usually your first talk is free as they want to see if they actually have a good case to take on). Have all your questions and facts with you so you can get all the correct legal advice to see what is the best course of action for you to follow.<p>Obviously she isn't working on saving or rehabilitating your marriage so why stay in it? Don't live in limbo, move forward with your own life. Enrich the relationship you have with your children separate from this negative one with your wife.

I am alsofrom Ontario. Go to the government web site..and look into the divorce act as well as the family law act.<p>You do have grounds for divorce if adultery is the reason, but get a lawyer to advise you of rights.