<BR>I was married at 15 had my first child at 17 and was divorced at age 22, our son was 5. We shared custady and I'm a little embarrased to say I rather enjoyed the time off when he went to visit hs dad.(but that's not the problem)<BR>Then when I was 26 I married again and had my second child when I was 28. I was divorced again when this child was 5. Do you see a pattern here? And the time spent with each man was 7 years. First marriage 7 years, the seccond I lived with for a year before marriage.<BR>Anyway I had a tubal ligation after my second child. Didn't want any more and also swore after my divorce I would never marry again. Famouse last words. Now I'm 41, recently married again, July, 8, 99, and my husband is 7 years younger than I. I've been with him off and on for 8 years all told and have always told him I wont have any more children even if I could. Well now since our marriage and all his nagging I have begun to seriously consider getting my tubal ligation reversed.<BR>First Question- Am I too old to have a healthy baby?<BR>Seccond - I am afraid that if I do have a baby I might follow my pattern of divorcing when it reaches the age of 5. Actually both my children were almost five when fathers and I seperated but turned 5 before divorce was final.Both divorces were for completly different reasons but my worry is my tollerance level for the stress of being married and raising a child. Aparently I can only manage this for almost 5 years. I am so affraid when the child reaches the age I may inadvertantly cause my third marriage to fail. What can I do to change this pattern?<BR>I'm sorry, now that I read what I wrote it sounds stupid because how can anybody understand my problem here without knowing my life? But if you can figure something to help me or have any questions, please reply. <P> Thank you,<BR> Shawna<P>------------------<BR><P>

As to whether or not it'd be medically advisable for you to have a baby, that's a question for your doctor; are you generally in good health, showing no signs of premenopause? There's always the increased possibility of Down's Syndrome with older mothers, and it would be considered a "high risk" pregnancy because of your age; also consider that you'll be in your sixties when your child is twenty. As for the "repetition compulsion," it's possible you could experience the "self-fulfilling prophecy" syndrome and start having problems due to your expectations; you'd have to remain aware of this and guard against it. A final thought: he was well aware that you didn't want children when he married you (could have chosen a younger woman who also wanted a family), so he's made his bed and ought to lie in it if you really don't want another child. Just my two cents!<p>[This message has been edited by quandry (edited February 11, 2000).]

I would add that, whether or not you have another child, I would work to identify the specific issues that caused you to divorce your first two husbands. Then work on resolving them with your husband (the one you are married to now). <P>Tubal ligation reversal is often unsuccessful. You may not be able to have any more children even if you have the operation. <P>And for what it's worth, you mentioned the relief you felt when your first child was with his father. No need to be embarassed, this sounds perfectly natural to me. Are you sure you want to put yourself back into that situation? This would include your husband and your teenager. <P>At the very least, you and your husband can discuss how to implement the 'Policy of Joint Agreement' discussed elsewhere on this site. <P>Some things to think about at least.

-<p>[This message has been edited by MaryBB (edited June 26, 2000).]

Shawna,<P>Before you worry about this even an minute longer, make an appointment with your doctor and speak to him or her about the chances you'll be able to become pregnant again. It's important to remember that "sterilization" means of birth control - i.e. tubal ligation and vasectomy - are still considered irreversible procedures. Although surgeons can attempt to rejoin the fallopian tubes, the odds the result will be functional are still small. For this reason - and also in part due to the nature of the procedure (not required for health) many health insurance companies will not pay for the procedure. There's no sense worrying about what you may be surprised to find is rarely possible! The problem is, once in a while a woman's tubal ligation is successfully reversed, and is then given lots of media attention, giving people the false impression that this is the norm. Please get the facts before you cause yourself needless worry.<p>[This message has been edited by younglove (edited February 11, 2000).]

I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner, and thank you all for your reply. It realy helped me come to a decision. First of all MaryBB I am very happy for you and the child you had and hope you don't think ill of me for deciding otherwise. I was trying to convince myself that I should do this for my H. And that's what he tells me too. He says you gave your other husbands a child, why can't you give me one? He tells me that I'm selfish and self centered, which is more true of him. I am healthy but do have a physiccal disability and wouldn't be able to carry the child from room to room, or keep up with it when he or she learned to walk. We live right on the road and have no fence. He says we cant afford a fence. I say we can't afford a baby either. He also keeps bringing puppies home and they of course get hit by cars and he blames me for it because I didn't tie them up. I would though if he'd make it easier for me to acomplish. My disability makes it too dificult to go down the porch steps and walk to where he wants the dog tied. He's bringing another puppy home next week, how sad for the puppy. He's a truck driver and not home much in case some of you wonder why he doesn't take care of it himself. <BR>I also told him that he isn't hardly ever here and I can't raise a child by myself any more. I used to be able to carry babies and walk. Don't suggest it. He won't stop being a truck driver, he was born for it. And he says I knew what he was when I married him so I can't ask him to change that. Which is true and I wouldn't want him to. But if he wants a baby, I can't do it alone.<BR>One of you suggested he married me knowing I wanted no more children, he made his bed, he should lye in it. I think that way too. A month ago he started pickig at me about how he always wanted a big family. I was upset and asked him (yelling) WELL THAN WHY DID YOU MARRY ME! He said because I thought you'd change your mind.<BR>I feel bad now because he wore me down and I agreed to getting my tubal ligation reversed. I believe in doing what you say you will do but I know having a baby will not be in any of our best interest. Like one or two of you said, it probably won't work any way, but then he wants to adopt. I tried to sway him from that idea and he got mad at me and yelled that if he has to he'll adopt a child whether I like it or not. And he didn't mean we were going to break up. He is just under the impression that a man can aply to adopt a child without his wifes cooperation. I don't know what makes him think this but he's hell bent on haveing a child. I don't know how to tell him I'm not going to do it, because I already said I would. <BR>Talk to me people, I need to here from you.<BR> Love & friendship,<BR> Shawna <P>------------------<BR><P>

Shawna,<P>you are right....<P>if you can't afford a fence, and the puppies keep getting run over, then you CANNOT afford a child....<P>and cannot afford what may happen to a child....a fence is maybe a few thousand.....a child immensely more.....<P>your disability sounds as if it would be too much of a challenge.....which is not fair to either you or a child....<P>have you thought of foster parenting? or adopting an older child???<P>he sounds a tad selfish to me, but I know we here on these boards are not supposed to be judgmental.....but, if he wants a big family, but is not willing to be home, then what is the point?????<P><BR>Dylan

Oh, Shawna, I'm so sorry for your pain. It's terrible about the puppies. I'm completely puzzled why your H would keep bringing them home when he knows what's happened to all the rest, and especially when he has to go on the road so much, he's not even home to enjoy them! Maybe next time he's home he could rig up some sort of line, like a laundry line, with a hook to the dog's collar and a pulley so it could run back and forth along the line - maybe that way you could reach the dog's hookup from the porch. Or, is a backyard an option?<P>I agree, if you can't afford a fence, you can't afford a baby. It's sad but true that they are very expensive! Your H is being a little unreasonable in expecting you to take care of a newborn when he is gone so much.<P>Other than finding some way to secure the dog that is accessible from the porch, I really don't have any advice to give, I just wanted to offer my support. Good luck, and keep posting!

Hello and thank you for being there for me. Taking in a foster child would not be the answer. He wants to raise a baby and if it's foster than somebody else gets to adopt it. He is a father already but he and his first wife divorced when their daughter was one or so. He has visitation on the holidays and most of evey summer but he didn't raise her and thats what he wants. I don't understand why he wants this so badly yet is unwilling to be here much to enjoy it. But as with the puppies when he comes home they love and adore him and follow him everywhere. The child would do the same thing I'm sure. Sadly this is what he needs.I wish we could find something to fullfill and take the place of this big family he wants. I'm not an old woman but I'm past the desire to populate any more. He is 34 and wants a family still. I don't know why he married me.<BR>Younglove the Idea for tieing the dog is good and I will bring it up to him. I used to have one of those things. But I have asked him to just put up a rail for me to hang onto so I don't fall. We have been in this house for a year and I don't have one yet. In the meantime weve lost three puppies to the road. Number 4 will be here soon. Poor thing.<BR>He will probably be home tonight or tomorrow and I don't know how to tell him I've changed my mind about having a child. He's very resentful and will probably never forgive me. I don't want to adopt either. Am I a terrible person to you? My son is 24 now and will be a father in may. I get to be a Grandma already! That won't be any fun for my H though because we live in Idaho, my son is in California. H is going to drive me there to visit and see the baby but we will be in his big truck and he will just have to drop me off and get back on the road. He'll come back and get me in a week. I'm very excited.<BR>Well I feel silly now, my problems arent so bad. Perhaps I shouldn't take up space here, but I love this and hope you don't mind. <BR>Do you have any idea's on how to convince my H a baby isn't a good idea. He just thinks I'm too selfcentered. I am mostly concerned for the babies quality of life. Does that sound self centered to you?<BR>Gotta go now.<BR> Thank you,<P><P>------------------<BR><P>

Shawna-<P>First of all, congratulations on the grandchild that's on the way! That's wonderful news!<P>Secondly, I most definitely do NOT think you are selfish! You came to the website, and posted looking for suggestions. You considered doing what he wanted - having a child - even though you had serious concerns about it. Your H, on the other hand, has a job which places a great strain on your marriage and leaves you with the brunt of the work and the responsibility for a child he feels some sort of "right" to have? I'm sorry, I know we're not supposed to be judgmental on the forum, but I can't help but feel your H is being enormously unfair to you. You say he wouldn't consider getting a more conventional job - if that's the case, he'll have to accept that a less "conventional" family is part of the package (i.e. no kids). You've raised your children, you're ready to relax and enjoy being a grandma, you have a disability which would make it impossible for you to carry a child... how on God's green earth does this man imagine you could bear this all yourself? He is being tremendously unfair to you. You should not consider having another child for even a second longer. It's pretty clear from your posts it's not what you want. <P>Whew! I've been holding that in a while, I hope I didn't offend you. I know you love your H dearly and I'm sure in most respects he's a caring and wonderful man. In regard to the child question, however, he's being terribly unrealistic and demanding.

P.S. In regard to the "how to convince your H a baby isn't a good idea" problem, I thought of a few things:<P>1) point out the fact that you're unable to carry it. Newborns are demanding and you would be unable to care for it.<P>2) point out the fate of the puppies. Since you can't keep up with a toddler, what will happen to the child when there is no fence?<P>3) point out the finances. If there's no money for a fence, how is there money for diapers, blankets, health insurance, clothes, toys, college?<P>4) point out your tubal ligation. If nothing else works, have your doctor talk to your H and perhaps he'll realize not only is the child unrealistic, but unlikely.<P>Let us know how things turn out!<BR>Good luck!

Younglove you are so right. My H is a very self involved man. Other times he can be very giving and is full of charm.<BR>But if it doesn't serve him he won't do it. I didn't realise this part of him till it was too late. I'm begining to wonder if he's a phycopath. Last night as I was waiting for him to come home I read what someone else wrote on this site. It was called, WOW IS THIS YOUR HUSBAND? It described him almost exactly. Have you seen it? Well I shouldn't be so harsh he does have a good side. He is very good to my daughter and I appreciate that.<BR> As for your suggestions on how to tell him I won't have another child, I have done all of them except have a Doctor talk to him. Good idea. And I'm not sure why he puts so much on me, (a physicaly chalenged person), to be responsible for. Like for instance When he is driving the car (yes I can drive), and pulls into our driveway he parks the car in a spot that will offer himself the shortest distance to walk to the house. This leaves me with six feet to walk by myself with nothing to lean on. If he would just pull up to the porch I could get out of the car, lean on the porch and walk up the stairs while leaning on the house.(remember I have no railing). When I ask him why he won't do this for me he says, Oh ya, Everybody should always be worried about poor Shawna! Then he says, why should I always be thinkng about YOU? Thats all YOU ever do is think about YOURSELF! <BR>It may look that way to him but realy. who is going to feed his dog, clean his house, go up and down the stairs to the basement to do his laundry if I'm laid up with a broken leg or worse? Who is going to do for him then? He even complains because I won't rake the yard.<BR> Anyway the point I was trying to make before I went off on that rant is, I think he may be under the misconseption that if he doesn't treat me special it will make me stronger. Or if he ignores the fact that I'm disabled maybe I will too. I don't know, maybe Im giving him too much credit. He says he loves and cares about me, but I can't tell sometimes. I kind of understand how he can feel this way but I realy think he resents me for being handi-capped.<P> Well its almost 4 in the morning, I better go to bed.<BR>Thank you for the congrats on my soon to be Grandbaby. I can't wait. If you want to talk to me via e-mail I'm at,<BR>Habadahabada1@webtv.net<P> Thank You,<BR> Shawna<P>------------------<BR>

Hello good people,<BR> An update for you on my H wantng a child. It took me about two weeks after my last post on this thread to have H home long enough to discuss it. He's sometimes only here for 24 hours or less. Well we finaly had to talk about it due to other upsets that brought everything out. Like my other topic starter called MONEY. We were argueing about me haveing the right to be in control of the law suit money and I told him of how much I do not want to have another child. He got all BOO HOO and said, Oh your not backing out on me now are you? After you got my hopes up?<BR>This of course makes me feel bad because I had previousely agreed to do it and always try to do what I say I will.<BR> I tried to get him to look at it realisticly- the money-(no longer an isue), the fence also no longer an isue because we will be able to afford one now. And he wants to quit Truck Driveing to write a book, so he will be here. Almost all of my reasons for diswaideing him from this fantasy are weekened by this money. Even my physical disability will be no problem acording to him. We can pay someone to be here and help me with everything.<BR> So now all I have is, #1- It may not be possible for me to get pregnant even after I have a tubal ligation reversal.<BR>and #2- the very most important- I don't want to. I tried and tried to get him to understand this but he wont listen to me. He says, "I see how you are with children, you love them and they love you, and you can't tell me you wouldn't love this one".<BR> This is all true, but the fact remains, I don't want to. He wont stop working on me to acomplish his goal of getting at least one child out of me.<BR>I wont have the money until September so there is still some time. Help me with suggestions or just talk to me. I need communication.<P> Thank You All,<BR> Shawna<P>------------------<BR>

Shawna--<P>Hi. I've responded to your posts before, good to see you around! <P>I'm a little concerned about what's happening with you two. Lawsuit money, is that from your handicap, or an accident? I'm glad you got a ruling in your favor. But your lawsuit money will only go so far...and it's sounding like your H now wishes to actually live off this money, perhaps instead of using a little to make necessary repairs, buy a FEW nice things/maybe a vacation, and then invest or save the rest. And he still wants to have a child, and I note even though he points out quitting his job will have him home, you could STILL hire someone to help? <P>Writing a book is a great desire of many, but not necessarily a great means of earning money.<P>I'm going out on a limb here with my opinion. Your H is a dreamer, to such extent that even realities don't dissuade him. He's not much of a negotiator either, leaving the work to you! I would just be very careful with decisions you make in the coming months. <P>Keep us posted.

Dear Shawna:<P>I posted before to you, and you are in my prayers.<P>I believe you began this thread by mentioning that you were concerned because you got divorced every five years, and you were worried that this might happen again. <P>Have you raised this issue with your husband? If you really felt you had a great relationship with your husband that would last forever, would you want a child with him then? I really think, whether you have another child or not, this is something that would benefit you both to work on. I recommend reading as much as possible as you can find on this website, especially on the 'Policy of Joint Agreement'. <P>As far as adoption goes, I have two adopted children, and I would be astonished if it were possible to adopt against the wishes of one of the parents. Nor, in my opinion, would it be practical. Children need and deserve two fully involved parents.<P>Also, excuse me if I say anything inappropriate or offensive, but I don't know the nature of your disability. Is it something progressive, that is expected to get worse as you go on? If so, this is another issue to discuss fully. You may not only be in your sixties when your child is in his/her twenties, but possibly not able to do everything you want with your child. This seems especially important as your husband has another child who lives apart from him. It doesn't seem to me that he is fully aware of how much is involved in the care of an infant or toddler. <P>Again, I think the 'Policy of Joint Agreement' is a good place to begin with your husband. The other is, since you spend so much time apart from your husband, to work on a plan to deposit as many love units into his love bank as you can manage while he is around. Whether you have a child or not, you want your husband around for the long run. Start working on that now.<P>God's blessings on you. You have a lot in your life to handle right now. When and if the money comes in, you will have a lot more to handle as well.<P>

Hi rs0522,<BR> I didn't say I got divorced every 5 years, I said my first two divorces took place when each child was 5 years old. My fear on that score was that perhaps that is my tollerance level. I found that after my first divorce my then x H was forced to take a bigger part in our sons life. He had visitation the first 3 weekends of every month and every wednesday. I loved raising our son don't get me wrong, but this time off was very nice for me. <BR> I was 15 when married, 17 when I became a mother and 22 when divorced. The reason for that divorce was his need to have sex with anybody who would let him. That was a long time ago and we are friends now.<BR> My second H I married when I was 27 had our daughter at 28 and got divorced when she was 5. Now all these years later I was reviewing my history and feared if I had another child, would I unconciously do it again when that child reached the age of 5 ? It isn't the child you see, it's the men I choose to marry and my tollerance to put up with them and raising a child by myself while married. Again second H snapped out of his alcohol and drug use to become a better father and has much visitation. He barely saw our daughter before.<BR> Divorce is not a good thing, I'm not saying that. It's just these two were best for me and the fathers took a bigger role in their childrens lives because of it.<BR> Now my present problem is much bigger and more complicated. The above problem was just a pondering. If my marriage was good, I'm sure I would be able to work through an unconciouse desire to get away after 5 years of the prespective childs life.<BR> At first I feared that, and my disability to walk while carrying anything. I have to be able to hang onto stuff in order to keep my balance. The furniture, the walls, counter tops, other people, a cane, anything so I don't fall, and sometimes I fall anyway.<BR>With present H out on the road all the time I can't take care of everything else and have a baby too. We would just have to stay on the floor all the time and perhaps I could drag the baby on a blanket to go from room to room. All of our bedrooms are in the basement and so is the laundry room. My H had to have this house and no other. It's right next door to his parents, but he says that has nothing to do with it.<BR> At first I thought I would be okay with the stairs, its good excersise (sorry about spelling), for my leg muscles. And I had assured him before marriage I would have no more children. Now he says "Well I thought you'd change your mind, (so he married me anyway) I ask him, how am I gonna get the baby downstairs? I can barely get myself down there.<BR> All of this is old news anyway, I was just trying to answer a few questions.<BR>I don't want to be redundant. My disability is caused from a chemical that was put in the water system in the town where I grew up. They knew it killed germs, bugs and whatnot but didn't question what it would do to people. My older sister and I have the same disabilities caused by this chemical. There are hundreds of different illnesses and every one didn't get the same problem but it was all caused from the chemical.<BR> Later in March there is a movie coming out staring "Julia Roberts", it's called Aren Brocovich. In this movie she plays the Lawyer that prosacuted this water company for putting the chemical in our water system. I'm not in the movie of course, but it tells of the law suit and was filmed in my home town. I'm not there anymore, I left when I was 32, I'll be 42 in April. Anyway if you all want to catch a flick, there it is.<BR> I know this is so very long, hope you don't mind that much. Thank you for reading it and replying. I love you guys. This realy does help a person sort through stuff. I'll go back now and make sure I didn't miss a question. Will post again later if I missed anything.<P> Thank you again,<BR> Shawna <BR><P>------------------<BR>

Hi rs0522,<BR> I didn't say I got divorced <BR>every 5 years, I said my first two <BR>divorces took place when each child was <BR>5 years old. My fear on that score was <BR>that perhaps that is my tollerance <BR>level. I found that after my first <BR>divorce my then x H was forced to take a <BR>bigger part in our sons life. He had <BR>visitation the first 3 weekends of every <BR>month and every wednesday. I loved <BR>raising our son don't get me wrong, but <BR>this time off was very nice for me. <BR> I was 15 when married, 17 when I <BR>became a mother and 22 when divorced. <BR>The reason for that divorce was his need <BR>to have sex with anybody who would let <BR>him. That was a long time ago and we are <BR>friends now.<BR> My second H I married when I was 27 <BR>had our daughter at 28 and got divorced <BR>when she was 5. Now all these years <BR>later I was reviewing my history and <BR>feared if I had another child, would I <BR>unconciously do it again when that child <BR>reached the age of 5 ? It isn't the <BR>child you see, it's the men I choose to <BR>marry and my tollerance to put up with <BR>them and raising a child by myself while <BR>married. Again second H snapped out of <BR>his alcohol and drug use to become a <BR>better father and has much visitation. <BR>He barely saw our daughter before.<BR> Divorce is not a good thing, I'm not <BR>saying that. It's just these two were <BR>best for me and the fathers took a <BR>bigger role in their childrens lives <BR>because of it.<BR> Now my present problem is much bigger <BR>and more complicated. The above problem <BR>was just a pondering. If my marriage was <BR>good, I'm sure I would be able to work <BR>through an unconciouse desire to get <BR>away after 5 years of the prespective <BR>childs life.<BR> At first I feared that, and my <BR>disability to walk while carrying <BR>anything. I have to be able to hang onto <BR>stuff in order to keep my balance. The <BR>furniture, the walls, counter tops, <BR>other people, a cane, anything so I <BR>don't fall, and sometimes I fall anyway.<BR>With present H out on the road all the <BR>time I can't take care of everything <BR>else and have a baby too. We would just <BR>have to stay on the floor all the time <BR>and perhaps I could drag the baby on a <BR>blanket to go from room to room. All of <BR>our bedrooms are in the basement and so <BR>is the laundry room. My H had to have <BR>this house and no other. It's right next <BR>door to his parents, but he says that <BR>has nothing to do with it.<BR> At first I thought I would be okay <BR>with the stairs, its good excersise <BR>(sorry about spelling), <BR>for my leg muscles. And I <BR>had assured him before marriage I would <BR>have no more children. Now he says "Well <BR>I thought you'd change your mind, (so he <BR>married me anyway) I ask him, how am I <BR>gonna get the baby downstairs? I can <BR>barely get myself down there.<BR> All of this is old news anyway, I was <BR>just trying to answer a few questions.<BR>I don't want to be redundant. My <BR>disability is caused from a chemical <BR>that was put in the water system in the <BR>town where I grew up. They knew it <BR>killed germs, bugs and whatnot but <BR>didn't question what it would do to <BR>people. My older sister and I have the <BR>same disabilities caused by this <BR>chemical. There are hundreds of <BR>different illnesses and every one didn't <BR>get the same problem but it was all <BR>caused from the chemical.<BR> Later in March there is a movie coming <BR>out staring "Julia Roberts", it's called <BR>Aren Brocovich. In this movie she plays <BR>the Lawyer that prosacuted this water <BR>company for putting the chemical in our <BR>water system. I'm not in the movie of <BR>course, but it tells of the law suit and <BR>was filmed in my home town. I'm not <BR>there anymore, I left when I was 32, <BR>I'll be 42 in April. Anyway if you all <BR>want to catch a flick, there it is.<BR> I know this is so very long, hope you <BR>don't mind that much. Thank you for <BR>reading it and replying. I love you <BR>guys. This realy does help a person sort <BR>through stuff. I'll go back now and make <BR>sure I didn't miss a question. Will post <BR>again later if I missed anything.<P> Thank you again,<BR> Shawna <BR><P>------------------<BR>

Hello my good friends,<BR> All of you, but to Lucks I answer my disability is caused from a chemical that was put into the water system in the town I grew up in. It was put there to kill germs and whatnot in the water and a second thought was not given to what it may do to people.<BR> I'm not sure who's question this is but the answer is, I started out just being a little clumsey, as the years passed it got worse. I could still run when I was 16 but had my son at 17 and have never run since before pregnany. I tried but couldn't do it. Over the years I developed head and eye tremmers, head shakes all the time,( people think I'm gestureing NO), my eyes only tremmer sometimes, people don't notice this but I can feel it and Doctors have noticed it also. I have curviture of the spine, poor balance, and shakey motor control. My knees are extremely hyperextended, this means they bend backwards as well as forward. I also break out with itchy rashes behind my knees and on my forearms a couple of times a year. My maladies are many and I could go on but wont. My older sister who lives in Maryland, and has same problems was just told yesterday by her Doctor that we won't get any worse. We both have a very good handle on our physical difficulties and were tickled to just know that. Yaaaaay! Long answer to that one.<BR> Got to go now but will be back later.<BR>Love & Thanks,<BR> Shawna<P>------------------<BR>

Hello my good friends,<BR> All of you, but <BR>to Lucks I answer my disability is <BR>caused from a chemical that was put into <BR>the water system in the town I grew up <BR>in. It was put there to kill germs and <BR>whatnot in the water and a second <BR>thought was not given to what it may do <BR>to people.<BR> I'm not sure who's question this is <BR>but the answer is, I started out just <BR>being a little clumsey, as the years <BR>passed it got worse. I could still run <BR>when I was 16 but had my son at 17 and <BR>have never run since before pregnany. I <BR>tried but couldn't do it. Over the years <BR>I developed head and eye tremmers, head <BR>shakes all the time,( people think I'm <BR>gestureing NO), my eyes only tremmer <BR>sometimes, people don't notice this but <BR>I can feel it and Doctors have noticed <BR>it also. I have curviture of the spine, <BR>poor balance, and shakey motor control. <BR>My knees are extremely hyperextended, <BR>this means they bend backwards as well <BR>as forward. I also break out with itchy <BR>rashes behind my knees and on my <BR>forearms a couple of times a year. My <BR>maladies are many and I could go on but <BR>wont. My older sister who lives in <BR>Maryland, and has same problems was just <BR>told yesterday by her Doctor that we <BR>won't get any worse. We both have a very <BR>good handle on our physical difficulties <BR>and were tickled to just know that. <BR>Yaaaaay! Long answer to that one.<BR> Got to go now but will be back later.<BR>Love & Thanks,<BR> Shawna<P>------------------<BR>

I can't post repies on this board anymore for now.<BR>If you wish to contact me, oh how I hope you do, I'm at habadahabada1@webtv.net<P>Hope to hear from you, any and all.<BR>Shawna