Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 157
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 157
Anna's post about the 40 year old virgin got me thinking about this subject. I have been with one partner, my ex husband. Now that I am divorced, sex isn't an option for me because of my religious convictions. At least that is my stance. I know it is how God set it up, and I know his plans are better than mine, but it just doesn't seem realistic to NOT sleep with someone before you marry them. I can't imagine that. Are there any others that feel strongly about this issue, but know it will be a real temptation? I guess I as a single parent of 3 young children think I am going to have a hard enough time meeting date worthy people - just wait until I spring the "I think we should wait until marriage" line on them [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Anyone else?

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,906
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,906
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by WhoamInow:
<strong> I know his plans are better than mine, but it just doesn't seem realistic to NOT sleep with someone before you marry them. Are there any others that feel strongly about this issue?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Yes, I feel as strongly about the issue as you. I was a virgin at 30, when I met my H, and dated for 1½ years before marrying. I must admit I wasn't a virgin when we married, but he is the only man I've ever had sex with. I used that somewhat vulgar phrase because I DID have "relations" with a man previous to him. A man I thought was "the love of my life." Turned out I was wrong. He didn't/wouldn't have intercourse with me (I would have, at that point, because I was IN LOVE!!!), so I was "saved" in that way for my H. My gift to him.<p>Now that you have some of my background, to answer your question. For me, there is no option as far as sex as a single person. So, I will either be reconciled to my H (which is my prayer), OR I will be "freed" by God to marry again. But in the meantime, I will NOT be free to enjoy sexual activity.<p>Are you standing for your M? Do you or don't you believe God can restore your M? I'm not condemning you, each of us has to make this decision for ourselves, I'm just trying to understand where you are. <p>I used to be the oddball among my single friends becuase I didn't like the "Young Singles" group at our church. I would rather "hang out" with my kids, my youth group of teen-agers, which was my ministry. My single friends used to say to me, "How will you find a H?" I would reply back, "God knows where I am! When He is ready, HE WILL BRING HIM TO ME!!! Right where I am." And I was right. HE DID.<p>I believe that if God has another man for you (although this is a tough one for me), HE will bring him to you, a man with the same convictions you have about things.<p>I would like to discuss more issues concerning this with you, but I have very little time this morning. I'll get back to this later.<p>God Bless,

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 46
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 46
<p>[ March 20, 2002: Message edited by: newstartj ]</p>

Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 157
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 157
Thanks for your responses. I know it isn't an option. And I know this would be a temptation I will need God's help with to resist. <p>Lupolady, I did everything possible to save my marriage. I fought for it with every ounce of my being. I let my cheating H come back even when I wanted to be done, because I felt that was what God wanted me to do. He left me when I was 8 months pregnant with our third. He moved in with the OW, my old best friend. They are now married. So no, reconcililation is not an option. We were unequally yoked in the first place, and I've learned my lesson there. I too didn't wait until marriage to sleep with him, although he was the only one. <p>Anyway, it is nice to hear there are some others like me. I feel kind of like a freak in today's society with these views. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Thanks for listening.<p>Who Am I Now

Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 554
O
Member
Member
O Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 554
WhoamInow,<p>I agree. I have been with 1 partner in my life too. That person was my xw. <p>I believe that sex is only permitted within the bounds of marriage. I also believe that my beliefs are not popular, and that I'm in the minority. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 46
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 46
<p>[ March 20, 2002: Message edited by: newstartj ]</p>

Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 554
O
Member
Member
O Offline
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 554
Well, I don't know about the 'virtuous character' part, but 'freak' does seem to fit me pretty well. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 401 guests, and 36 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Limkao, Emily01, apefruityouth, litchming, scrushe
72,034 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0