To all who have read my posts and followed my story and replied with support or suggestions, thank you. To all who don't know my situation can read my previous post by doing a search on my name in this forum. This is an update to those previous posts. I've reached the end of my rope, after repeatly failing to get my wife to open up and simply talk about or situation, I've decided I can no longer endure the lack of emotions from this woman, the way she shows her irritation at just the mere sight of me hurts more than anything she's ever said. I try to keep upbeat but her attitude brings me down fast. This weekend I told her I would like her to pack her things and go. The kids would stay with me while she spends time on her own thinking about whether or not she wants to work on this marriage, all of a sudden when confronted with the fact that I want her to leave NOW, and the fact that she won't have the kids, she's become very hesitant to make a decision when just last week she was definitely out the door after our house had sold. She's been very quiet all weekend and the look of irritation on her face has gone only to be replaced by one of sadness. I'm hoping I've made the right decision. I believe the only way she's going to make up her mind and find the happiness she's looking for is to spend time away from everything and not have to worry about anything but herself, maybe the time alone will give her the opportunity to realize everything she's had up till this point and make a decision about what it is she wants out of life. I still love this woman with all my heart and this has got to have been one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make in my life. I feel this was the only option I had left that would be best for both of us before the hate and mistrust began. Wish me luck. Jax

I hope it works out well....maybe it will force her to think thru things and decide if she wants to work for your marriage.<BR>Hang in there-<BR>\Kathi

Good for you ,Jax. It takes plenty of courage to bring a marriage to death's door, but sometimes that's what it takes. This is evidenced by the change in her demeanor after you asked her to leave.<P>I'm sure you still love her, and sometimes love must be tough.But if you've been showing her all the while that you truly love her, she cannot just erase this from her memory. Let her go, with love. When the pain of the separation exceeds the pain of being with you, she'll come up with all kinds of reasons why she was wrong and that she was foolish,etc. Sometimes, this can take a long time.<P>But I've seen wives in total withdrawal from their husbands, only to discover months later that they finally realize how much they really loved him. Anger takes a while to subside , and sometimes it requires people to be apart for them to get in touch with the better part of themselves.<P>Don't give up! Be vigilant in prayer and wait as long as you possibly can. If you both can get through this crisis, you will be in a much stronger position to have the kind of relationship you both really want.

It sounds like you have made a very difficult decision. However it works out, you need to do what is right for you and your children. My favorite saying in the whole world is something I learned from my days in Al-Anon dealing with my ex husbands drug abuse:<P>God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,<BR>The courage to change the things I can,<BR>And the wisdom to know the difference.<P>Whether you are a religious person or not, this prayer always helps me to direct my mind where it needs to go.<BR>I hope that it offers you a little solace.<P>Good luck.<BR>Shelley.