I'm so torn by this...the weekend and probably months to come the stbx will be working, during the weekends he is suppose to have the kids he won't be able to take them, so I don't get a free weekend for just me.<p>Actually this weekend I needed to work. <p>Here's my problem though...I won't get fired for not working, he will...I am on salary and won't get paid though...he will...but I really, really needed to work...<p>Another thing is that it's kind of aggravating...See, he asked me if it was okay, and I said, "Well, I really don't see that I have a choice." So, I guess what gets to me is that I am watching the kids while he works and makes over $40.00 an hour and I get none of that money, plus I don't get my weekend to myself, plus I go in Monday with too much work!...<p>JUST DANG IT!<p>ANNA<p>[ March 21, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

Anna,<p>is he still not paying you support for the kids???<p>I'd suggest that you ask for that from all his extra overtime...

TR,<p>He's skipped two payments but he says he'll pay it soon, and I really think he will.<p>Thanks, <p>ANNA<p>P.S.<p>I'm brain-dead today...hard to type...hard to think...<p>Hey TR, btw, I got a raise today. I've been there a month, I was so happy!<p>ANNA<p>[ March 21, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

Anna<p>That is wonderful news about the pay raise..<p>I know that is helpful...or will be when it gets to the paycheck.. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>How are the boys doing w/ you working? How are they doing in school these days?? and w/ homework?? (not to change the subject)

TR, <p>I'm so exhausted..I'll update you tomorrow.<p>c'ya friend,<p>ANNA

Hi Anna,<p>I think you are one of the lucky ones whose X is even remotely still interested in the kids! Mine I think has seen them 3-4 times the whole last year, and he lived only 20 minutes away at the time. Just no excuse.<p>Isn't there anyone else who can take the kids for the weekend? Grandma or aunties or uncles, nice neighbor? Maybe you just shouldn't count on him so much in case his interest and involvement begins to slide like a lot of them do over time. But still, don't lose pay over him. There's gotta be another way. <p>I would love the courts to ENFORCE their visitation schedule (altho mine would not even have the default schedule - Weds. and every other Saturday - put into our decree, just reasonable visitation which means whenever he feels like it).<p>I just think you can only do so much to encourage the relationship with dad, but he's unreliable. I now work a lot harder on my kids' relationships with other relatives like grandpas and cousins, uncles. People I know they can count on.<p>So sad and it really sucks. Take care.

Anna,<p>I was thinking...is he working ALL weekend or just one day? Is there anyway that he can get them one night? Like if he's off sunday, he get them Saturday after work and spend sunday with them?
And you have them Friday night and Saturday during the day? that way you would have one night and day with them..and he would have the other night and day? My kids like doing this some weekends so they have time w/ both of us.. <p>The only problem I had with it was if one weekend I want to go out of town like to the beach or something w/ them I couldn't..so were trying to come up with something that works for us..like
maybe two weekends a month he has them all weekend and the two other weekends we can split..<p>Is he working this weekend and not next weekend..
because next weekend is Easter?? So he would have them for the holiday weekend? <p>I am just trying to think of something that would give you both that down time so you can make plans with other adults those nights and weekends..and the other weekends w/ the kids..and the kids get the best of both..under the circumstances..<p>Just something to think about and maybe try and discuss with him...

On his weekends, have him find a sitter and pay her for the time he's at work. He has to come home at night doesn't he. This is reality.
Our mediator said that the other person has the first option to watch the kids if one is unavailable, but if you have plans you need your time and work too.

TR,<p>Well, he is working all weekend, Saturday and Sunday...<p>I'm feeling a little better about it today. I think I just needed to vent about it.<p>I talked to him today and he said he can possibly get off next weekend and take them, but then like you said, it's Easter weekend and I'm not really keen on him getting them Easter.<p>Weirded out,<p>I guess with everything people can find someone worse off. I think that really is lousey, especially for the children's sake. It's good you have relatives near by to watch them. I have no relatives nearby. My relatives all live about 600 miles away.<p>As for friends watching them, my friends all have busy weekends with the family.<p>They are old enough to stay by themselves a few hours, so I decided to go into work Saturday morning for a few hours when they are still vegging out...watching tv....and then go into work Sunday morning for a few hours...At least that is better than nothing.<p>
newly, <p>I wish I could leave it up to him to find them a sitter, but I do know he doesn't know anyone who would take them on weekends...<p>Well, I am feeling a lot better. I was thinking this job would go on for months with overtime and he told me the overtime may stop sooner than that...I sure hope so.<p>Take care all!<p>ANNA