Insatiable...<p>
To Her Majesty and Highness
At
The Congregation for the Sacred Doctrine of the MB Forum<p>In her official capacity of<p> Judicial Vicar & Prefect <p> The Boob Queen<p>
As I understand that you are:<p> - Duly authorized and appointed to sit in judgment over the asset value of the posting membership and,<p> - Deputized to enforce said righteous judgments on behalf of the worldwide populace whom elected you to this exalted reign and,<p> - Entrusted with the executable protocol for Inquisition of the Inquirer,
Dispatch of the Disagreers, Condemnation of the Conservatives, Torching of the Traditionalist, and Excommunication of the Enemy....<p>
I humbly, with fear and trepidation, kneel before the Forum Court of Oz imploring entry.
Thank you for allowing me to peck.
_______________<p>
I am a divorced man dying from a terminal illness. Today I had an appointment with my AIDS oncologist, a lady doctor from Africa, Dr. Lovejoy. She sent me here for help with my insatiable need for sex.<p>Since I’m not quite dead yet, I still need sex..... Lots of it...morning, noon, and night...anytime, anywhere...man, woman, child, animal, or numero uno. I am insatiable.<p>Nothing satisfies me for long. As soon as I’m done, I need it again. My stingy wife just wouldn’t put out.<p>She got so...well... Rubenesque, you know, it was impossible for me to have any fulfillment. I like to watch pornos during sex so I can look at those sexy babes. But FW wouldn’t stay bent over, spoiling all my fun by making me look at her mousy face. <p> She stopped meeting my need for physical attractiveness, especially with the sight of our whiny brats hanging all over her. She just kept getting pregnant even though she knew I was disgusted with the way it made her look. I got sick & tired of screaming babies wrecking our time in the sack with my special movies.<p>At least she was a good cook, meeting my need for domestic support, except for all those slimy vegetable salads.<p>I heard you would understand all this.<p> I thought when I got married it meant unlimited sex, not celibacy. A man has his needs, after all. Big Daddy Head runs the show, right? She even had the nerve to ask me to stop spending all that time alone in the bathroom with my toys. That made me mad. My body belongs to me; it’s all mines, and I can do whatever I want with it.<p>Since she wouldn’t be my sex toy, I snuck out and got playmates to give me the playtime I need. What I deserve! <p>Guess what, I discovered my omni-orientation! What an erotic delight! What ecstasy being so free and daring! Having kinky sex with no limitations, except food & sleep & appointments with the STD clinic. I regretted ever wasting my time on FW once I found out how easy it was to go hog wild behind her back.<p> I felt contempt and disdain for her for treating me like a child and trying to tell me what to do. I have a right to a little fun & games to meet my recreation need. I deserve better than her preachy bossiness. So what if she and the bratty baby got AIDS? They have good medicines for this now, like they don’t have to get sick for years.<p>But, then I got really sick with Kaposi’s sarcoma. The feisty Dr. Lovejoy took care of me and my friends who were dropping like flies. She even risked her life, getting poked with my bloody needle and exposing herself to my deadly virus in the operating room removing the mycotic fungus ball from my lung so I could breathe again. <p>At first she made me mad, just like FW with her “know it all” attitude. She says snotty stuff about stopping, and being safe, and some word like clean that starts with a p...... And making free choices; personal choices. <p>I came to see she was so hard because she had experienced so much death and destruction, knowing there was a simple way to stop it. A simple message of hope. <p>
Part of her mission is being an AIDS educator, speaker, and writer. I wish I had taken her course sooner. A new Marriage Discussion Board concept has been in the works at her associate’s website, adding to their television, radio, publishing, and Counseling Institute outreaches.<p>She sent me here... mumbling ... something about... not casting pearls before swine? <p>
She wanted me to remind you to only click on links from trustworthy sources; like she is careful to do, even with her ISP’s Filter for Immature Content activated. BUURRRPP.
Pardon me.... I must switch to those burpless cucumbers.<p>
Building or Destroying? Tolerance or Rejection? Arrogance or Humility? Convicted or Inflammatory? Honesty or Betrayal? Forgiveness or Hatred? <p> Help me choose to tolerate the Diversity of the Human Race of Persons. Forgive me if I've been insensitive, it's the least of my vices.<p>Yours Purely, The Ratz<p>[ March 22, 2002: Message edited by: Ratz ]</p>
