Has anyone pursued an annulment through the Roman Catholic Church? If so, did it help you to move on, or to close things out? How did your WS react, whether Catholic or not?<p>- Tom<p>PS - I do understand that annulments are not concerned with what happened during the marriage, only with how it started.

Don't get discouraged..if you don't get many replies this weekend..as ppl pretty much aren't posting on the weekends..<p>I don't know if anyone has actually pursued an annulment through the Catholic Church, but I know
that a few ppl were going to look into it..<p>you can do a search and see what posts there are on the topic..

Hi Tom -
I just completed my portion of the annulment process about 3 weeks ago. (And I finally learned that annulment is NOT spelled annullment. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] )
I was very nervous about getting into it, afraid that I would get consumed by the very thing I've been trying to get past. Instead it turned out to be freeing. It really did provide closure for me, as far as realizing that I did everything I could to save my marriage, and that I was a good wife that didn't deserve to be cheated on. It allowed for some introspection that forced me to see there were many areas in which I could have been a better wife, which was helpful as well. Mine turned out to be 19 typed pages. <p>I do not know how my ex H will react. I am assuming he received notice recently that I am asking the Church for an annulment, due to the timeline and also his recent surlier than usual behavior towards me. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I do know that I will NOT read his responses to the questions, although I have the right to read them, and those of his witnesses, just as he has the right to read mine. My ex H married the OW, who was one of my best friends, and has a Clintonesque way of trying to skirt around the truth. I have no desire to be hurt further by reading his self validating lies. <p>The annulment questions themselves deal with childhood, family background, courtship, marriage, sex, children, adultery, etc. A big portion of the paperwork deals with what happened during the marriage, not just how it started. <p>If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. I'm not really far along in the process yet - I suspect I still have about 9 months to go before it is all said and done. But I'm happy to share my experiences so far!<p>WhoamInow (Krista)

Thanks guys. You can get some hits searching for both 'annulment' and 'annullment' [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Did you have any trouble with witnesses? It's been such a long time.<p>- Tom

Hi again -
I was stumped on the witness issue for a while. A friend of mine listed 14 people. I didn't go that far, but listed my parents, my two sisters, and two friends that knew us well the last 3 years of our marriage. The natural couple to use in a different scenerio would've been the OW and her ex H, since they were our closest friends for 10 years. NOT so appropriate in this case. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] My problem was that the friends that knew us in our courtship (10+ years ago) we haven't lived near or been around much, so they wouldn't be much help. We moved three times, making friends at each place, but didn't have the continuity of friends that knew both of us well for a long period of time. Family was pretty much the common denominator. Good luck. And I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one spelling annulment wrong. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I am almost at the end of my annulment process. I have been remarried for about 9 years. My husband is Catholic and I am currently in RCIA. I am annulling a marriage from 20 years ago. I guess god was watching out for me because when I received my packet with all the questions and wanted witnesses, I ran into a girl I hung out with in high school who was my friend at the time I married my 1st husband. In fact she stood up with me. I only had one witness and my mother would not participate. So it has been somewhat of a struggle for me. It was hard sitting during Easter vigil watching all the other people from my RCIA class getting to take communion. But I am still waiting. So hang in there.

Thanks, again.<p>I went to a support group meeting last night and this subject was raised by someone else. One guy was married 15 years and has been divorced 18 years, now he wants an annulment because:

• He thinks the lack of an annulment has been an impediment in developing three significant relationships he had in those 18 years. Here, he was talking about a sense of closure.
• He thinks he can't receive the sacraments (especially absolution), if he gets remarried without the annulment.

Another woman, divorced 11 years, had very strong feelings against getting annulments. That these are manmade rules that should not affect forgiveness, the sacraments, or remarriage. A third woman, divorced two years, left the Catholic church over it. Two other women who have been divorced for a while, and another man divorced for a long time but recently remarried, seemed to advise "do what you want" and the Church looks the other way, anyhow. Nobody stops you from taking communion. Find the right priest. Likening the Church to a country club where you must follow the rules if you wish to belong. And if you don't like the rules, then bend them if possible or find another club. There was one other person in the group, who didn't say much.<p>This was my first meeting, and the conversation was so "hot" among the regulars that it was hard to get a word in edgewise.<p>Well, I've left out many details of the discussion, but it just struck me how the topic of annulment is still so sensitive for people after so many years have gone by.<p>- Tom

Although my anulment will be for "defect of form" because although both Catholic we did not get married in the church, it has been very healing for me.<p>We won't need witnesses, or have a long process, all I have to do is give Fr. my divorce certificate, and it will be over. I already met with him and did some paperwork, nothing major, just birth and baptismal certificates for the family, and our civil marriage license.<p>Having the opportunity to sit and talk with him for a while was very helpful though.<p>Elizabeth