<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by new_beginning:
<strong>. The man winked at me and I got pregnant.<p>I *want* to believe that God will care for all the children that would come<p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>New Beginning,<p>Your first H must have been a very potent winker! I bet he was cute, too.<p>Which method of Natural Family Planning did you use? Did you take morning temperatures and check for fertile mucus-- the sympto-thermal method; or something else? <p>I believe that both prudence AND trusting in God's providence guide our big decisions. Not one to the exclusion of the other.<p>[ April 04, 2002: Message edited by: Voice of Reason ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Voice of Reason:
<strong><p>New Beginning,<p>Your H must have been a very potent winker! I bet he was cute, too.<p>Which method of Natural Family Planning did you use? Did you take morning temperatures and check for fertile mucus-- the sympto-thermal method? <p>Sounds like you planned your family with reasoning and prudence.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>We did both, to be honest. And that was after having two daughters within 13 months of each other!<p>I don't know how it happened (I mean, I *know* wink, wink HOW it happened) but I got pregnant at weird times of the month, or so it seemed.<p>We didn't plan any of our children, and let me tell you that after another child (a son) he got the snip job and I STILL got pregnant one more time (a miscarriage). <p>And yes, he was very cute on the outside... it was the inside that turned ugly.

Nduli2,<p>By the way, why did you assume there was an OW?
There is no OW...<p>There were OM, Oteenagers, and OWOWOWOW, and Olittlesisters, and Oincest, and Ofamilysexfriends, and Ofiredsexemployees and OXOXOX shops, and Oblowjobsinclosetwithmaidwhilewifeand4kidsathome, Obrokerage accounts and O$$$scams and Opsychiatric diagnoses, and Oviolentrecords, and Oabuse, and Oattemptedmurder, and Osexharassmentclaims, Olives and on and on and on. <p>Rather shocking for a squeaky-clean devout Christian family man who refused to wear a condom, "because contraception is a sin." And who wanted to "fill up" our fancy mansion with lots more kids. Even Mafia mobsters are power-hungry for large families.<p>It wasn't that bad was it?<p>Truth is stranger than fiction in my wild life. Maybe I just don't belong on this vanilla-flavored Forum.<p>[ April 04, 2002: Message edited by: Voice of Reason ]</p>

Nduli2,<p>One more thing. He didn't leave, I kicked him out the night I caught him.<p>His teenage stalking victim has gone underground in-hiding for safety.<p>I have CPO for domestic violence with police protection for 5 years.<p>Living with WH was like living with a combination of Gary Condit/President Bush/O.J. Simpson, or a violent Bill Clinton reading the Bible every day (WH did!).<p>If only I'd been a better wife... and applied MB's principles better...<p> I must move on... So long and Sayonara.<p>Wiffty,<p>Thanks, again.

My baggage coach, for the English lesson and emotional projection insight-awareness-raising therapy. I feel you think I am dishonest and manipulative. AAAAhhhhh....Oooops...Old habits die hard. <p> I think that you are worth your weight in gold, even though you implied that one who states the obvious is emotionally projecting due to manipulative dishonesty. OK coach, I'll keep working on my weaknesses that you point out, especially this major blind spot engulfing my brain, heart, personality, and whole being!<p>Where do I send your check for the loose-screw tightening, wise sage?<p>[ April 05, 2002: Message edited by: Voice of Reason ]</p>

So he's sexual addict and a very sick one at that. Has any of his indescretions(I know it's a lame word but) led to any legal problems?<p> I'm not passing judgement on you for another person's illness, it's not your fault. Please stop jumping on people. Your first post mentions an OW not the fact that he sleeps with anything that crosses his path. An OW is a reasonable assumption, it's what most of us here have had to deal with.<p> SA is an illness like alcoholism or drug addiction. I don't envy you your position. But you need to take any blame for this off your own shoulders. No matter how much sex you would have provided it would never be enough for a person with SA, it is definately not your fault. You see, when you give the story in total it puts a whole new spin on it. First post made it sound like it was a run of the mill A, this other post makes it sound like an intolerable situation. Have you taken the proper steps in ensuring you and your children's well being?

JTW,<p>Found it! White Smoke, by Fr, A. Greeley, on tap at my local township library.<p>Busy weekend Sat. & Sun. Maybe start on Mon.
We can start a new literature dicussion thread. I also have a VERY campy satire book title to contrast with Theology of Body.
________<p> Nduli2,<p>Ok. Now we're even. You prejudged me, and I had to vomit all my gory details on you, so you would treat me as the individual I really am. Sorry. Excuse me for regurgitating on you. Stop stereo-typing me and maybe I won't get nauseated again. May I bring you a wet towel to wipe the barf off your shoes? <p>Whenever I try to be the nice guy and not say too many bad things about my WH this always happens. Over and Over I look like the self-righteous, rigid, cocky, goody-two-shoes, bad guy because I keep my mouth shut about WH. <p>You know, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all.?" Well, that motto doesn't work with a sociopath.<p>Here is my new motto, "If you can't survive with a sadistic narcissist sociopath, then tell everybody everything."<p>So, now you know I'm a putrid wasteland. A toxic dump of resentment. A baggage bonanza.<p> But I am saved by God, and He has restored my strength. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You said you don't care about my faith. I do. In fact, my faith and me are one. I can't explain it any better to you if that is not your way. <p> I know you care about me. You have shown me you are a responsive friend. Just take my word for it, that my religious beliefs are not external to my being like a car or a hobby might be. I have been radically changed into living a life according to the Spirit, not by the flesh. <p> So it is of limited usefulness for me to wax my car, when my lifeblood is being drained out of my spiritual soul. Keep working with me for our mutual benefit, we can become more experienced friends. I think we can each learn something from our interactions. OK?<p>May I discreetly ask what Nduli2 refers to?<p>Yes, he is in legal trouble with the civil court. Yes, I prevented him from arrest, criminal record, loss of career, etc. I felt that court-mandated treatment was better bargaining leverage than jail, criminal record, etc. Yes, he is liable for more legal and $$ claim trouble. We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop...<p>Yes, we are safe! I was awarded sole legal custody with No shared parenting because of his battering. He is under court, psychiatric, and community supervision and careful monitoring, especially by police enforceable Civil Protection Order Consent Decree. One slip, I notify the authorities, and he goes straight to jail.<p>The only irritant now is financial punishment. Soon he'll be getting another contempt charge slapped on him again for that (refusing to pay the kid's medical bills). He won't stop punishing because he is an abuser. His therapy and AMEND program hasn't helped at all as far as I can tell.<p>
OK, I must move on....... <p>I need to learn what considerate husbands feel, so I can reprogram my brain. My therapist wants me to "raise my expectations" in the behavior that I allow from men. So, I'm trying to figure out how healthy men feel, think, and how they considerately treat intimate others.<p>[ April 05, 2002: Message edited by: Voice of Reason ]</p>

I am sorry that the questions have left you feeling violated. Make use of this anon place to vent and spew those things you can't speak about in your life. It is this board's greatest strength.<p> A considerate husband would view his wife as part of himself and by injuring her he injures himself. Any less means illness, mental disorders and detachment. But you know that already.<p> I think you must stop bailing him out of trouble and allow him to feel the full penalty of his actions. Many narcissictic people cannot see the consequences until they lose what is dear to them and most often that is their freedom to behave foolishly.