My xh called the other day and brought up the holiday thing again. I had posted a week or so ago about celebrating holidays and I got a lot of good advice. I told my xh that it is his business how, when and where he celebrates the holidays with our children. I told him that I will celebrate all of the holidays with our children, that I feel it is important that they have traditions and celebrations with both parents. My xh is so hung up on the children getting too many gifts or whatever. I keep trying to tell him that that isn't what it is all about. We can give gifts, I feel that we should keep it toned down, not go overboard.....they don't need to be spoiled. I don't think he is really seeing that things are different now, we are not married anymore, there are two families now. He is still adament and said that he wouldn't be celebrating the holidays by giving gifts to the children if I do. But, as far as the major holidays now he agrees about celebrating those, the both of us. Does this make any sense at all? I told him that he would miss out, that it is his choice not to celebrate. He even mentioned that he could take me back to court and have it put in the papers that the parent that doesn't have the child on the holiday can't celebrate. I told him that he can't do that, that is my freedom and right and I am not harming the children in any way. I told him I could celebrate Christmas every day of the year if I wanted or on June 1st. I am not hurting the kids by celebrating holidays and creating new traditions for us as a family. Can he do this?<p>Kathy

You do what YOU want in YOUR house. He'd look like moron asking for something so stupid to a Judge. My children had Easter with their dad. The bunny visited them there and they had Easter dinner with their dad. When they got home Sunday night I had a basket waiting for them and some eggs hidden. My step kids had baskets at our home and with their mother. Your ex is being unreasonable.

I don't know the law in your state, but here's a rule of thumb:<p>Any fool with a typewriter/word processor and the filing fee can file any kind of legal document and request a ruling. If that fool has an attorney stupid/unethical/greedy enough to follow the fool's instructions, [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] and he's willing to pay the attorney his fees and costs, he can. <p>When your x realizes that he will be leaving a paper trail of his pigheadedness for all the world to see, in addition to wasting money he could be spending on something fun or useful, he may not follow through on his threat.<p>I wouldn't worry. He's probably just blowing off steam. Don't argue with him. If he wants to argue, here are a few phrases to keep on the tip of your tongue:<p>"Hmm, there's a thought."<p>"Yes, I see."<p>"Oh, well, do what you think best."<p>"Mmm hmm. "<p>Neutral expression. Save your energy. He's being a putz and he needs your opposition to feed his putziness.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ) [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: Bellevue ]</p>

Your ex is blowing smoke. What you do or don't do is none of his business. He is only trying to control you...even if he has to do it through the kids. I know, I have one just like him. I have a restraining order against my ex...he was supposed to have the kids on Good Friday through Saturday afternoon. He opted not to and then late Saturday afternoon told me he wanted the kids right now and if I didn't bring them to him, he would come get them with the police. My response? I hung up on him and started dinner. You will find that his silly demands are just that, silly. He hurts himself and if you permit it, he will hurt the kids. Stick to your guns and don't listen to his threats.