My attorney had a method of calculating spousal maintenance. She said you can get alimony for 1/2 the length of the marriage, and in my case, I could possibly ask for it for a lifetime. Now a month later, she tells me there is another legal way, called the Fin Plan, and she's going to have that calculated based on H's income and earning power as compared to where I'm at. <p>My situation is, married 15+ yrs, housewife and helped H with business, chronically ill daughter
(since 1998) who we don't know if she will improve with the next kind of treatment-- but I have to be home with her now (so when can I get employment income?).... I'll need to update my skills for working, etc. <p>Maybe I could do some "work from the home" jobs like assembly, data entry, etc??? Or are those all scams?<p>Two ladies I know got 5-6 years spousal maintenance and told me that is usually what the court approves of. My attorney says I can be creative and ask for what I want. I don't know what to ask for! Maybe the fin plan will give me a ballpark number of $$$$ ???<p>My H wants to agree out of court. He had just wanted us to split assets and he'd just pay the kids' health insurance and school tuition and let us all live in the house for 6 yrs as support. He's not thinking of child support and spousal maintenance payment too. Yet we deserve something! But how much, given the circumstances, is fair for me to ask??, <p>Any advice? Thanks!<p>[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: Renae ]</p>

Child support is based on a table and it's based on the NCP's net income. It's easy to figure out what that amt. would be. Spousal is another ball game and is largely decided by the Judge. There is no set amounts or "tables" to look at. You should be in a long-term marriage though to receive spousal which is usually 10+ yrs. Scenerio.....You want custody and you end up with custody. Most judges will make sure that you come as close to your present standard of living as possible. From what I've seen in the court room a judge may take and take from the NCP until the CP can pay the bills etc..Now I don't think that is right. I've heard of some NCP having only a couple of hundred to live off of after a judge is done adding spousal to a child support order. But, your ex will have to pay child support and he'll have to pay the amt. that MN has listed for one child. The court see's it as the child's money, not your money so you can't decide to take a lower amt. Your letting the judge know that your willing to work from home looks good too. You don't want to look like you want a free ride from your ex for years. You just need it until you get on your feet with some income of your own.

My x didn't want to pay child support either and reportedly her lawyer was going to be creative in coming up with a plan were she didn't have to pay child support and I wouldn't have to pay spousal support.<p>Why I would pay her was questionable anyhow as she was working part-time during the marriage, but my lawyer told me that the courts won't agree to no child support.<p>I know every state is different, but I would assume this to be the same everywhere for child support. I'm in Ohio.

My lawyer said the first consideration, at least in my state, is always that the NCP has enough to live on - whether or not his kids starve. In my state it is rare for the CP to get spousal support when there are 3 or more kids, because the courts will not take more than a certain percentage of the NCP's income, even if you have a dozen kids. We have six kids; at the time all were dependent, and my H only has to pay support based on having 3-4. Spousal support in my state is often minimal when there are kids, unless the family is ultra-rich.

Hi Renae,<p>I am a long time poster here, read a lot but don't post much anymore. My divorce was final last month. I normally post under another name when I do post, but sometimes need a little anonymity, especially regarding financial stuff, so I use this name!<p>We settled on spousal maintenance out of court. Neither one of us wanted a judge to make the final decision.<p>I was married 20 years and have 3 kids at home, two of them under eighteen. I was a homemaker for most of my marriage, so no skills, no way to make a bunch of money.<p>My advice to you...be brave and go for as much as you can get. I didn't want to have to move the kids from their home, and while I did go back to work as soon as my ex husband left I don't have a degree and don't make much money. Ex makes about 300,000 a year soooooooooo...I went for it.<p>He pays me $4250 a month in maint & $1600 a month in child support. I'll get both for about six years. I am also now sole owner of our home. (yeah, I had a good atty.)<p>Sounds like a lot huh? Well, four of us are living on about about one-quarter of what he makes. He and ow keep the other three-quarters plus what she makes, which is a whole lot more than what I do. real fair.<p>Also, be aware that you will have to pay taxes on the maintenance, which is a pretty big hit for me.<p>Watch the taxes, who pays if you owe? Also, it was ordered that my ex pay my attorney fees along with his. <p>No one wins.....no one

I just finished divorcing in a court on 2/6/02.<p>I have been SAHM from apprx 11/95. I have 3 kids. 6/4/3. I won't get into all the nitty gritty details but let's say I got screwed up the A** with a hot poker and then they took it out and poked it in again. At least that's how I look at it.<p>Anyway, Ex was the adulterer. Living with OW and her kids and parents. He moves out and doesn't pay me ANYTHING. he pays the mortgage. <p>Anyway, in regards to maintenance, the judge was going to give me $10,000 for the next 1.5 years until youngest is in kindergarten. HOWEVER, I did receive a 2nd Bachelors degree while married and husband claimed I had "enhanced earnings capacity". He hired an expert, therefore, I hired expert to evaluate the financial worth of my degree. We settled on $30,000. (against my will) although his expert rated it as high as $100,000. This is all BS but that is how NY is so watch out if you are educated during marriage. Anyway, The judge took the $10,000 amount owed me in maintenance and subtracted it from my assest. So now I have a $20,000 assest. H got everything he wanted, except Primary custody of kids.<p>I am presently looking for employment outside of the home and will need to put my kids in day care for a cost of $413.00 per week!!!!The only thing I got was he has to pay 75% of Day care. <p>I will have to post my own thread on all the horrible things that ex has done to me and especially the kids.<p>Take everything you can get and don't be NICE. Easier said than done but I've been there, done that. The court does NOT CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR KIDS. ONLY YOU DO so take control of your own situtation. <p>hopelessmom

Oh, I was married for 14.5 years. First marriage for both of us.<p>hopelessmom