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#72433 03/07/00 07:22 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 5
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W has another 'just friends' male, call him S, she is in at least email contact with, but it feels like there is or was more. We talked about him over a year ago when I discoverd that they were very attracted to one another, she told him that he would be the first to know when we split up and he is single. She had a very personal (emotional only?) relationship w/ another man at work over a year ago and based on the why's we went to counseling. Both counselors told us to stop outside close realationships while we sorked on the marraige. I often questioned her about S because I knew of their attraction to one another. She always said that she had not seen or talked to him. Giving me a hard time for questioning her. Anyway in a recent jounal discovery, I was desperate to know, I find she has seen him, "lot's of passionate hugs", she is worried that he has not answered her last emails, is upset that he has not told her of his new girlfriend, and was concerned about a caller to the radio station saying that he had a nice butt. Meanwhile the only things written about us in her journal is that "life sucks". I confronted her and she that "they are just friends" and I should allow her to have male friends. Well of course, but why hide it? Is she still screwing w/me? Do I believe her or should I get my mind set for seperation? She has shown little to no attempt at making changes suggested by our counselors and shows little affection towards me. Is she gone already?<BR>Any support or suggestions would really help me out. Thank you.

#72434 03/08/00 10:21 AM
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It sounds like whether she realizes it or not, she is involved in an emotional affair. You should read up on affairs and on Plan A on this website.<BR>There are a number of us in the Infidelity forum who have spouses involved in an EA. My H and I are working on our relationship after he realized his feelings for a co-worker had crossed that line. Things between us are much, much better than they have been in a long time.<BR>It does take work. Hang in there--<BR>Kathi

#72435 03/08/00 10:33 PM
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You should read my problem. I feel like your wife is almost in the same shoes I am in. I would definitley say she is having an emotional affair. which is the hardest to get over. I'm not sure if their would be hope but I would threaten to leave her to see how she would react. If she wouldn't be too bothered I would leave and give her some time and space to think about what she is really doing.


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