Sorry this is kind of long, I really wish I would have found this site back in August.<P>Here goes, my H and I have been together for 7 yrs. and married for 3 1/2. He's had 4 affairs since we've been married and up until now they have never been emotional ones.<BR>In August I asked him to move out because he had no job and wasn't being a responsible father (we have a 2 yr. old). He asked me several times if he could come home but he still hadn't gotten his act together.<BR>In Feb. he moved back home, but he had been with someone else. He told me he was over her and I believed him.<BR>He's friend moved back into town about a week or two ago, and everythings gone downhill since.<BR>He didn't want to spend time with me or his son anymore, and I was very upset. I checked his voicemail one day and she was on it. He found out and said he couldn't trust me and I'm a liar so it's over.<BR>Now he's moving in with her at the end of the month and says he's in love with her and she makes him truly happy. He told me I need to go out and find someone who will make me happy. He also said it's my fault that all this is happening. <BR>I love my H and I don't want this to happen. I've tried plan A with no success. He's set his mind on moving out and being with her.<BR>I keep saying if I would have never kicked him out this wouldn't be happening.<BR>We are young, we got married when I was almost 19 and he was 21. Now I'm 22 and he's 24. <BR>I am so lost and confused. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I cry all the time. Thankfully my boss gives me the space and understanding at <BR>work.<BR>I guess I need some help moving on or winning him back. I don't think he's ever going to come back to me though. Can anyone please give me some advice? <BR>I've prayed and prayed and I'm losing hope and faith. <BR>Please help me, thank you.<P>------------------<BR>Christina

I feel so sad for what you are going through. Please read everything you can here and listen to the advice given. Take care of you and your child and do what is best for you. From what I have read, it sounds like your husband is a bit on the immature side and you are the more responsible one. Do what you can at this point to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Go slow, and take time --nothing will be solved overnight. Sounds like you have had problems for a little while. Jim will be posting to you soon. He is very wise and helped me when I first posted. I will say a prayer for your family.

He's had 4 affairs in 3.5 years, and he says he can't trust you bcs you found the OW's message on his voicemail? Sounds like he is really into justifying his bad behavior!!!<P>There is a lot of info on this site that may be helpful to you. You may want to post in the infidelity area...there's lots of good folks there who will have good advice. Many of them will tell you how they are trying to rebuild their marriages...after all, this is a marriagebuilder site!<P>But, since this was not an isolated affair, I have to ask you to think about whether you want a man who doesn't hold a job, isn't a responsible father, has an affair for every year you've been married, and then tries to turn it around and make it all your fault...<P>I know you have a small child, and that weighs for staying in the marriage IF you truly believe your H can be the husband and father you want him to be. So far, he doesn't seem to me to be showing much potential...<BR>Good luck--<BR>KAthi<P>

Your story reminds me so much of my first marriage. I can't say that things are much better for me now, so my advice is probably worthless.<BR> One day I just had to stop and say to myself, "Is this what I want for my son? Is this the man I want my child to look up to and grow up to be like?" That made my decision a lot easier.

Thank you for listeaning and trying to talk some sense into me. I know he's not the best man or the best father but I see real possiblities in him. I know I'm probably being foolish, but like I said before I love him. <BR>Question should I start on plan B even with him still in the house? What can I do to keep my mind off of him? Thank you all for just listeaning to me, I really do feel better after reading everybody's posts here and in other threads.