well here goes, i am the OW and don't know what to do. i moved to this new town about 4 months ago and met this guy at work and we met one day and the next we were having an affair (litterly) i knew he was married and did it anyway i don't know what i was thinking, we both went into this with eyes wide open. we spent day and night together because of our job this was possible, and just a couple of days ago he told his wife, i feel i kind of forced him thinking that she would leave him and he would be with me.<BR>i don't know if i really want that because they have 2 children and i don't want to ruin their lives and his wifes as well, which i am sure i already have. i am so confused i just want to drop off the face of the earth, or crawl under a rock. i am a good person so i don't know how i let this happen, now i will have to face him at work and i don't know how to handle it.<BR>i really want to be with him, i think i am going crazy. someone please help<P>------------------<BR>lost

Welcome. I'd suggest you go over to the General questions area of the infidelity board. You won't get flamed...in fact, there are a couple of folks in your position. Read some of the posts. <BR>Read posts from "azhootie" in particular...<P>Kathi

we are almost in the same shoes. Only I am married along with my lover. We don't talk now, my H revieled the affair to the other mans wife. It still hurts me, I want to be with him but I know I can't and he has 1 child and another one due March 14th. Right around the corner. And his wife is such a nice woman. I can't believe, this will stick with everbodies lives forever. Be careful and remember that adultery is one of the top 10.

I have been struggling with how to respond to you. You see, my husband and I are separated and have 2 kids and he won't even consider coming home because he has this other woman to temporarily fulfill his needs. This is such a sad situation because ultimately our kids are the ones suffering the most. I feel for you. I know you're struggling and I pray that you will see that this relationship cannot survive because it is based on lies and deceit. Please don't misunderstand me. I know you came here because you are hurting and need support. Family is the most important thing in the world and the lives of our kids must be protected. This affair is hurtful and destructive and there are 2 innocent lives that will never be the same. I just wanted to give you the perspective of the wife. I will keep you in my prayers.

My H was involved with the OW. She kept telling him that if he told me, I would leave him. This is why he did not tell me when it first happen. Now there is also a OC that we are dealing with.<P>I have forgiven the OW and every night in my prays, I have asked the Lord to look upon her and to strengthen her and help her to do the right thing.<P>I hope that the PA is over, if not for you, for the W and children. You may need to find another job.<P>If you have made it in your mind to stop the PA, then do so.<P>God bless and keep you.