We were supposed to meet to discuss the D settment....it's getting close. He couldn't even meet with me in person. Said that it would be too emotional and he didn't want any arguing. I prety much think that he was a big chicken and can't finish what he has started (the D)....I am dealing with a different man that I was last week. After last weekend (when he told me that i had been a b*tch for 20 yrs......) he has tried not to deal with me...I decided not to sit with him at my son's game. After how he treated me last weekend....how could I sit with him and set myself up for more pain??? I am so tired of all of this....In a few yrs...I will be struggling for every nickel....and he will be making way over 6 figures....and that is not counting the the OW's money. It's sad....<p>Thanks for listening.
MAX

Max,<p>No advice tonight, just wanted you to know I read your post and I know what you mean. My STBXH is the same.....I feel for you.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

It is strange - the WS say they want out and then don't do what it takes to get out. <p>I just read "Affairs" by Emily Brown - she also has a companion book to it that basically is the cheat sheet for therapists- it tells the therapists how to treat a patient in these situations, I forgot what it's called - my WH has the book(probably using it for scratch paper or something), but I found it one of the most helpful in trying to understand my situation.<p>My WH is like yours. Still in the same emotional place that he was 7 months ago. Still angry at me - basically for catching him and then not letting him walk all over me.<p>Anyway, in the book it talks about the five types of affairs, and my WH is in a split self affair where they basically want their cake and eat it too(cakemen). I'd check it out of the library and the companion book too because it gives you the inside scoop for both WS and BS on how to cope, the causes and what to do next.<p>Anyway, I have had to limit my contact with WH because of his actions and focus on myself. I have had to stop worrying about his crazy behavior and just accept that he's going to act weird and emotional through this and go on.<p>It's making the whole D process so hard - especially because it makes him not act in the best interest of the kids, but that's what the court is for. <p>Try to focus on yourself through this and try not to let the antics of your WH get to you.<p>K

Thank you for posting. This is just so darn hard. I think I am finally in a different place right now. After his cruel and hurtful words last weekend....I am finally MAD....I don't feel like I am going to cry.<p>He said today (in an email) that I would have been the one to get emotional. I am so tired of him blaming me for his actions or lack of actions. The affair...lack of time with the kids...not meeting me face to face...even when he called me a b*tch last weekend, he blamed it on me...said I started it! What is it with him? I am finally ready to move on. I don't like the factthat my kids have to be with that tramp...but as of right now...they want nothing to do with her. He is so foolish to think that after we are divorced...they will change their mind. They are almost 18 and 14. This is what bothers me now...not him and her...my kids and her. That tramp doesn't deserve my kids. They are too good for her. Right now they are even too good for him...but I know how much they love him.<p>Thanks for listening.