Today is one of those days.<p>Yes, I'm in contact with my attorney, but WH has demanded that I "turn over the children - even the 6 week old baby(who he has only see for less than a total of 24 hours since her birth) tonite"<p>Of course he didn't put an or else statement, but it's still a threat.<p>And he says that he'll just use formula if I don't provide breast milk - like it's no big deal to make a major parenting decision like that.<p>His problem is that he refuses to get a thrid party involved and will not use my third party to communicate with - so he pretends like he can't communicate with me at all - he's trying to play the victim.<p>Now let's see - WH the victim - he left his pregnanct wife for OW, threatens me about money and the kids, he withholds the children from me and he lives with the OW and throws them in their face so they are upset and confused. Yes, I definitely see him as the victim.<p>Just needed to get this all out before the fireworks begin.<p>K

GIIC,
I know the D will be final later this month, but don't you have a temporary visitation schedule in place now? I'm just curious, because that's one of the main reasons I filed, To get visitation formalized so H couldn't make demands. Right now, my H has a right to take the kids whenever he wants.

K, <p>First, let's get one thing straight: <p>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{K}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{K}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{K}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>I'm so sorry your stbxh is being such a [censored] just after you had a baby. It's hard enough to be awake ever 4 hours and breastfeed and mood swing and no sleep...without all this added craziness. <p>Okay. Take a few deep breaths while you read this. DEFINITELY contact a lawyer today--right now. A lawyer can advise you whether you must comply with your stbxh's demands--and how to properly tell your stbx to kiss off (devil horn protruding). A lawyer can advise you of what you must do legally and what you do not need to do legally. A lawyer can advise you how to react and how to protect your own interests and the interests of your children--especially the baby and the breastmilk thing. <p>But more than anything, I lawyer can reinforce you and remind you that you are NOT NUTS. You are well within your rights to ask that your stbx speak to you through a 3rd party and to NOT RESPOND AT ALL IN ANY WAY until he does. The mere facts that he is NOT communicating through your 3rd party as you requested, and that he is threatening to NOT respect the decision to use breast milk is ample evidence that HE is the uncooperative party here. A lawyer will explain to you that the way you are behaving is just fine...or if it is not, a lawyer will tell you the kind of stuff you can not do. Mostly, a lawyer will remind you that your are on the right track--and will let you know where YOU might be getting off track and where your stbx is DEFINITELY off track.<p>Okay?<p>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{K}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>CJ

((((((((K))))))))<p>As you've probably seen on the boards, I'm all for father's rights and everything, but this guy is insane.<p>Just how long does he want the 6week old for?<p>With a breast feediing infant, I can see a more flexable visitation schedule with allotments of an hour here or even two hours but not much more, that's just ridiculous.<p>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers

Dang it. <p>This guy is really starting some icky stuff.<p>Lawyer. Do it. Now. Temporary orders, restraining order, somthing can be done. <p>Best thing might be for you to pack up the kid/kids, don't know who has who now, and go to the county courthouse. Walk in with your bags and baggage, and tell them you need help fast. Tell them it is an emergency. Cry. Hold up the little baby and sob if you have to.<p>Right before you walk out the door for that call La Leche League. I can get you the # for one of the gals in your neighborhood. They have training in how to deal with things like this and what to suggest, how to help. Main line is 847-519-7730. Don't get tossed into the loop, talk to the switchboard operator, she will find someone in the legal dept for you.<p>Email me if you want the name or # for a local gal, dunno where you are hun.<p>Stay strong. You can do this! <p>Elizabeth

THANKS for all the HUGS!!!!!!!!<p>First, I am working with my lawyer today as we speak - and unfortunately the hearing at the end of the month is for the temporary hearing, which WH has turned into the divorce hearing - WH has managed to get the temporary hearing postponed twice!!! already, otherwise I wouldn't be going through this.<p>Don't get me wrong. I do very much understand the importance of a father in the kids lives - and I've been asking him every day to come and see his baby - however, if WH is going to act poorly, I'm sure I can find other suitable male role models for them - I have my father and three brothers.<p>I'm convinced that the only reason WH wants the kids is for his own emotional needs. He treats them as adults - especially when involving them with the case - or is it he's acting like a kid - I get confused.<p>I think I will call the LA Leche league - I know they would love to be involved, and I would love to sick 'um on my WH.<p>Thanks again for the support, it brought a smile to my face to know that you are all there for me. K

That's my strong K.<p>La Leche League is an AWESOME organization, I welcome all to peek at their web pages.<p>Their main purpose is to support and educate about breastfeeding. In doing that they have experience in dealing with situations regarding divorce and other touchy stuff.<p>Until [censored] accident I was very involved with the group. They have guidelines about identifying yourself as a volunteer leader on the internet. They don't want people to take all of your views as relating to their organization, quite understandable.<p>I can tell you though that they will be a wonderful source of support and information for you. They also have a legal department that helps deal with the touchier aspects. Some parents find themselves in trouble with protective services because a neighbor thinks it is not appropriate to nurse a 2 year old, or a father tries to put the nix on breastfeeding because it interferes with visitation (whatever!). <p>They always have someone in your area 24 & 7 to answer questions, offer support, or just listen to you. I used to "do phones" and get calls from brand new moms at 2 in the morning, and it is always a joy to be able to help. That is what these people do.<p>Whatever I can to to help with this ok? Anything. Sweet things need their nursies.<p>Keep me updated, if you run into a road block with LLL I have some friends higher up who might be able to call in a favor.<p>Elizabeth
Boob Queen

Hang in there K! I posted a reply already on another of your threads, but just want you to know that you're in my prayers!<p>Maybe your WH will ask to borrow your breasts! He seems to think he is entitled to everything else of yours so why not these too!<p>I really can't imagine him wanting to keep her for very long. She is so little and being a boob baby shall we say she will miss Mommy terribly. Has she ever even had a bottle?<p>I feel for you. I've never had to fight for equal time, I had to fight to get my X to take the kids the little time he does. Of course he says this will all change now that he will have a house- yeah right!<p>Keep us posted and hang in there. <p>Take care and God bless!
K

Actually WH would just rather put her on formula - he doesn't care - and he's a Dr.!<p>He's still trying to find a way to take her - and for some undefined period of time. I've said he can see her as much as he wants - I just have to be there. His response is that he has a right to take her with him without me. Well, he may have a right, but is it the best thing for her? No.<p>Selfish Selfish Selfish....<p>Should be an interesting weekend. <p>I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE HEARING! And yes, I'm living in the only state in the union where joint custody is presumed - but we'll see, hopefully they'll make an exception for psycho doctor dads.<p>Hope everyone else is doing ok - I'll just live vicariously though others who don't have so crazy of a life.<p>K