found out yesterday that wife is planning to move in with OM. That is the final straw for me, no more plan B, I am
moving to Plan C (moving on in my life and give up my marriage). <p> I wanted to thank everyone for all their advice over the last 5 months and hope that everyone that is in the
situation has a happier end than mine. Atleast I have learned alot and I am a stonger, better person for having
gone through this HELL.
Take care,
Dave

Plan B for yourself, not her. Be the best person you can be in your situation.<p>Then no matter what happens, you know you did the best you could.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Princess Buttercup:
<strong>Plan B for yourself, not her. Be the best person you can be in your situation.<p>Then no matter what happens, you know you did the best you could.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Geeez PB!,<p>That would be Plan A. Plan Bing yourself would be not talking to yourself... [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] silly girl [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>ANNA [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Why whatever do you mean, Anna?<p>I strongly suggest not talking to yourself!<p>It makes people look at you funny ...<p>I meant for Dave to request "no contact" from her, not be her doormat ... not be there for her to fall back on if things don't work out with OM and chances are they won't, appear strong and confident as opposed to weak and needy ... do you see what I'm saying? :}

I'm sorry to hear about your decision to end your M because of W's stupidity but take comfort in the fact that you gave it your best but that it was not to be. Feel sorry for your stbxw because she will regret (maybe not to you personally) her A and will live with the knowledge that she was responsable for breaking up not only the M but the family as well. It is for these reasons that in the long run it is better to be the BS and not the WS.<p>But remember Dave that the MB principles go beyond helping a M and into other human relationships in your work and personal life. Practice them and you will be rewarded for doing so.<p>Good luck and God bless.<p>Joe

Thanks everyone. I have learned so much though this experience. I am a much stonger more knowledgeable person from this. I am just sad that things could not be worked out, I will miss my family but I still have my children 80% of the time and I am a better person. My only regret is that I was not aware of her ENs before the A, not sure if things would of been different or not, but I can't dwell on the past. I did every thing I could to save this M and family, I know we could of had a great life together, but it takes 2 to make things work and there has only been 1 for sometime now. I will not be her door mat any more, I certainly was for a long time as she came in and out of my life so many times over the last year always to end up going back to the OM. OM can have her, I am done fighting, planning, etc. Her phrase for the last 9 months has been " this is all about me". Well now this is about me and my children. I will become the best person and father I can be, those 2 great kids need some stability in their life and God knows they are not getting it from her so I need to make up the differce to them. I brought them into this world, it is my reposibilty and my honor to give them all the unconditional love, parenting, teaching, respect, that I can give them, that will be focus. I will never take my STBXW back if things fail with the OM and I am sure they will at some point in the future, there has been too much hurt and pain. For now, I will have no contact with her unless there is an urgent matter with the kids, maybe someday we can become friends but no time soon.
Dave