I have been thinking about this for a while, and I don't know if it is the news that my XH is getting married that has finally pushed me over the edge. To actually make that call! I phoned an agent that does introductions (match making - I guess). I don't know how else to meet guys, so is this is a good idea? I am so tired of not having someone in my life, tired of being a lone. <p>Basically this lady first meets all her clients and then gives you telephone numbers and you make the call and set up the meeting. Or the other person phones you... ah... what to do? Wait patiently for someone to come into my life or go out there looking? Has anyone tried this? How did it go?<p>Pantha

I have no clue, to me it's a scary scene no matter how you do it. My x is playing family with the OM and planning on shacking up in a couple months so I kinda understand how you feel.<p>I've thought about those dating services, church singles group, divorce groups, and fate. I finally come to the conclusion that I am emotionally healthy and everyday I get stronger and more content with my single lifestyle. So I'm gonna relax and allow mother fate to take over.<p>Guess what??? It may have worked. <p>I drive around 30 miles to work everyday and the other day I pulled up to a stop light and a WOMAN waved real politely to me. (God, do I sound like a teenager). I couldn't for the life of me figure out who it was. Well two days later I saw her again at the same light turning into a Convenience Store. Obviously my curiosity was working overtime so I pulled in for a cup of coffee. She saw me and we chatted. She asked if I recognized her when she waved and went on to say that she was soandso's Aunt whom I had met at a kids Birthday party a couple months ago. Well by the end of the conversation she was going to call me about some property information in the town that she lives in and I GAVE HER MY PHONE NUMBER.<p>(OK, I actually feel like a teenager)<p>Well that was yesterday, so IF she calls I'm gonna ask her to lunch or something. But it's kind of scary because I don't know if she's seeing someone or whatever. I kind of took it from her body language and our conversation that she was interested but hell I dunno.<p>BTW Pantha,<p>If you're sweet, charming, attractive, and RICH then let's go out.<p>Sorry, had to throw that in. Just wanted you to know that us men have plenty of apprehention and fear in this area as well.

Hey Bill, I'm not answering those questions as my self esteem is not good right now [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] But hey if you want to travel to South Africa maybe we could go out! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am glad that you have met a potential date! wow! how cool is that!? and how it happened too!
But I have questions... you spoke about her body language. What are those signals because I don't know if I know how to give those signals... <p>Pantha

&#8220;&#8221;&#8221;Hey Bill, I'm not answering those questions as my self esteem is not good right now&#8221;&#8221;&#8221;<p>PANTHA, don&#8217;t make me get up on my soap box and preach, that will ruin our first date. OK quick sermon, don&#8217;t even think about dating while your self-esteem is not totally high. I am so glad that I have waited because I had many opportunities when my self-esteem was below sea level. Now I look back at those opportunities and thank my lucky stars that I had the sense to &#8220;Just Say No&#8221;.<p>&#8220;&#8221;&#8221;But hey if you want to travel to South Africa maybe we could go out!&#8221;&#8221;&#8221;<p>That ain&#8217;t near Kansas at all, is it? Shucks!!! Well if you&#8217;re ever in central Kansas give me a shout.<p>&#8220;&#8221;&#8221;But I have questions... you spoke about her body language. What are those signals because I don't know if I know how to give those signals...&#8221;&#8221;&#8221;<p>Gosh, I dunno either. Well let me try to explain. She did the classic play with hair thingy, there was a lot of eye contact, ummm there was just a certain hormones in the air that lead me to believe that she wants to go out. I&#8217;m actually kicking myself for not asking her right then to a casual lunch. Did I mention that as I was walking away I could see her reflection in a car window and she was watching my buttocks. It was one of the few days a month where I wore jeans and boots to work.

jeans and boots to work.<p>Oh baby, oh baby.<p>Toss the suits and gimme a cowboy any day.

LH,
That is sooo cool! Actually the best part of your message was reading the part where you came to the conclusion that you are emotionally healthy and you just let it happen. I'm still dealing with the fears and insecurities of myself and it is sooooo good to read about someone who is at or near the end of this dark tunnel telling all of us back in the dark
"Hey there is some light up here, and it feels good" <p>Viva La Hope!!!!!

ROFLMA - At Bill..That is too funny..."I noticed her watching my buttocks" <p>Pantha, <p>I have to agree, don't start dating until you feel your ready..within yourself..as far as "flirting" goes..I think eye contact has a lot to do with flirting..I tend to think men are more attracted to women who can look them in the eyes and smile..
it doesn't really matter if it's only for a second or two..if you have the confidence to look them in the eyes then most men find that attractive..
They look at YOU..not the body..they may just as women do..(see above post from Bill) check out your body too..<p>but the initial eye contact and a smile brings more self-confidence..because you know they noticed you..be it for only a minute..you were seen...you were acknowledged as a person..and when your down in the slumps about yourself..sometimes that acknowledgement is enough to help you begin to feel better about yourself..<p>So next time your at work or the store..make eye contact and smile at, at least one person..it doesn't have to be a man either..and it does become easier with time..<p>You could go get your hair done..or give yourself a makeover in someway..buy new makeup or a new outfit..do something that makes you feel good about yourself..I know for me..it could be as simple as doing something I hate doing..like plucking my eyebrows..even in doing that it makes me feel as if I have done something for me..and I guess the knowing I 've done something to take care of me in someway..I feel better about myself..<p>Even if you buy yourself something as simple as new shade of lipstick that you really like and looks great with your skin tone..and such..can be a big boost..don't buy it in hopes of getting noticed by someone else..but do it for yourself..because You are special and you deserve it..<p>I know even in watching my daughters (13, 9) when they get a new hair cut they feel better about themseleves..and they carry themselves differently..they are more outgoing and friendly towards others..especially if they haven't had their hair cut in awhile..LOL..even my 7 yr old son likes to look his best to make an impression on little girls in his class..he asked me to cut his hair recently and asked if I could buy him some cologne because he wanted to look and smell good for this little girl in his class..and I did it..because it was important to him..<p>I guess I see it in them as it's not doing it for the other person..but for themselves to express how they feel inside..and it seems to draw others towards them..<p>So do something special for yourself..pamper yourself a little bit..read a book, or take a class, something that helps you feel better about yourself..and the self-confidence will come w/ that..and it will shine through on the outside to draw others to you..and you'll have LOTS of men asking you out [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ April 12, 2002: Message edited by: ThornedRose ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ThornedRose:
<strong>ROFLMA - At Bill..That is too funny..."I noticed her watching my buttocks"
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Just what are you implying here young lady? Are you saying that my buttocks is not worth watching? I may not be George Clooney in the looks department but I look pretty darn good in my tight fitten, faded wranglers and "Real men wear Black" boots.....

"Just what are you implying here young lady? Are you saying that my buttocks is not worth watching? I may not be George Clooney in the looks department but I look pretty darn good in my tight fitten, faded wranglers and "Real men wear Black" boots....." <p>
Implying?? Me??? No No No...I never said your "'buttocks' weren't worth watching"..(as I've never seen you, let alone in tight fittin, faded wrangler jeans)<p>And I don't have anything against men who wear boots..I have two pair of boots myself..<p>And as far as Clooney goes, yes he has pretty a face and sexy eyes, but I'd have to know his personality past the looks to see if he was attractive or not..<p>And personally..if I like the eyes..then I check out the 'buttocks' too as they walk away..and nothing against wranglers..but I prefer a man whose 'Buttocks' look good in a pair of levi's and dress/casual pants..and who has a natural arm strenghth from working, not the weight lifting bodies, a man has to have a sense of humor..and not rude, degrading humor..a pretty smile, (preferably all his teeth), genuine as opposed to always trying to cover up his real feelings..and trying to be macho..<p>hmmmm..okay I better stop I'll be drooling all over my keyboard in a minute..<p>Oh yeah..and thank you for the "young lady" comment..I don't hear that to often..

Bill,<p>Haven't been around much but still think of you often. Just had to say this thread really made me smile tonight. Thanks! Good luck when you get that date. There is no "if" in this picture if that buttocks-watching chick has any sense at all.<p>I love ya man!!!!!<p>PP

Hey Lynn,<p>Good to see out among the living. I was up in Norwalk, IA a couple weeks ago and thought about ya. Don't you travel through that area?<p>Anyway don't be such a stranger. E-mail me so we catch up on what's been happening.<p>bill@salinaplaningmill.com

Hey Pantha... I have a tip... just a second though...<p>Bill, ya managed to hijack this thread with your descriptive about your clothes! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] Hmmm, kind of like a teenager now, eh? It's cool how far you've come and are venturing out! I hope all for the best! Sounds like fun!<p>Okay, Pantha... one of my friends used an internet service called eharmony.com and met quite a few guys... in fact, her wedding is this weekend! It's pretty cool! So, give that a shot and see also... but, the key is in what Bill said,... getting emotionally healthy and happy to be alone with yourself and being single... anything before that may be too needy!<p>Blessings,
Nicole [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I tried A personal add, I figured it was no different than a blind date, I only met people local only met them in public, I met some really nice people and I met some that I didn't like, I made a few new friends and Met a couple I could have really had something with, for me it really built my confidence and self esteem, I learned alot about myself. Be careful when and where you meet and take things slow, do not get discouraged and keep an open mind.