Hello all, well my d-day filed by my wife is set for mid May. Problem is this is 6 days before D,s highschool graduation. WS/W said because she will be divorced by then she's going to have me meet the OM in her life......<p>Has anyone had to face such agony of torn emotions...On one hand I'm going to visit daughter 1,200 miles away and then have to face a man that my wife is going to flaunt in my face. She's already said to me "Oh you're just jealous because someone else is tapping what you had"! But yet she is dening and has denied any relationship. I can't believe this day after I caught her in at least 5 affairs, she's now saying she said nothing or did nothing, Yet I read perverted email, heard lude VMX conversations, she sneaked out at night claiming to be at work, Internet affairs, I have printed documents......<p>She's turned it so much around on me through malipulation, I'm feeling guilty because she's filed for divorce but she did all the dirty work, why do I feel like the Bad Guy??

I feel for you man. I've been around the OM a couple times over the past week. Not to mention I called my X the other day and she told me their were like doing it, YUCK!!!!!!<p>Personally, I've yet to say a single solitary word to the man (and I use that term in a genetic sense only). I'm so angered by the fact that they are fixing to shack up, try to change my girls' school again, and the other emotional harm that they have caused. So I'm afraid that if I do say as much as "Hey" to him that my tongue will unleash the furry brewing in my mind. Which btw would do no one any good.<p>Best of luck to ya.

she's going to have me meet the OM
How is she "going" to do this? If you don't want it, then don't do it.

I agree with Chris...she can't 'force' you to do anything. I think she's especially selfish and stupid to attempt such a thing at d's graduation. I hope she reconsiders the wisdom of this.

Well to answer you questions. She's going to attempt this while I'm out eating with my daughters after the graduation ceremony. She's going to parade this guy in front of me at a resturant or some place in public. She said she had a enough sense not to bring OM inside graduation, but said he will be around...<p>One part of me wants to stay away from it all and no leave town, another side says I'm must be there for my daughter no matter what. But at the same time I ask myself should I get wounded all over again when I havn't healed from all the exposed affairs in the past year. I have tried to let go of her but I haven't yet. <p>This is tough, I feel like Jesus going to the cross saying, let this cup pass by me, its to much to bear...I feel like she's trying to crucify me with these many men.<p>Therefore she's trying to get the OM in my face to inflict pain and jealousy, I know this just because she's going to feel "oh we're divorced now" I can have anyone in your presence now, I no longer have to hide it....I know she's going to push it to the limit and I can't stop her, she's determined, she wants me to see OM to releive her guilt of no longer having to hide it. She told me other day she's angry with me because I haven't let marriage go, she states our 21 year relationship is something of the past now, she's 38 I'm 39...

I would think your daughter should say something to her mother to please leave OM out of the picture for what is suppose to be a cheerful time for your daughter. I am assuming that your daughter is against what her mother is doing? <p>Yuck! I hope there never comes a time when I have to meet OW! My daughters have already refused to meet her. I have told my STBX long ago to leave this person out of our family events. I have a feeling he will ignore my request and I dread the future.

I would ask your daughter what she wants to do after graduation and with whom. She's old enough to decide. Then if she says she wants dinner with OM then go, but she may not. Another way to do this is to have two separate dinners, your daughter can have one with her mom and then you can take her out - just dad and daughter after and do something special like a special dessert at a fancy restaurant. You daughter may feel more comfortable with that. I'm sure she's going to feel obligated to please her mom, but just talk to her - you never know if she really feels pressured or uncomfortable by her mom's actions.<p>We're doing the two family thing right now - two celebrations for everything. The kids like it because they get more special attention. <p>Good Luck. I'm going through this with the OW too. K