Hi all,<p>I need help.<p>Long story short, my ex and I do not communicate...he is the king of avoiding answering any direct question. He also avoids honesty like the plague. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Problem: I am moving and my kids will need to fly for visitation. My ex is responsible for 54% of the transportation costs. He won't agree to just reimburse actual receipt-able costs...he wants to set some "agreed upon" value to a round-trip ticket ...as far as I can understand...he wants me to reimburse him my half of this "standard amount" while he plays with reducing his half anyway he can. (The idea that we will be able to agree upon what a RT ticket would cost is even funny) [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I had proposed...<p>The parent receiving the children make/pay for flight arrangements...then send the other parent a receipt...the other parent has 30 days to reimburse their portion of the costs upon receipt of the copy.<p>He is threatening to take me to court AGAIN because we can't come to agreement on this. Is my logic flawed? Other than this goes against his "control freak" nature, I can't see why he would have a problem with this policy. <p>Does anyone have their transportation costs spelled out in their divorce decree in some legalese I could use??? <p>ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH<p>Lisa

Lisa,<p>Just as in your situation my exH and I also do not communicate and our 12 yo D needs to take an airplane in order to go visit him and the OW (now wife). <p>Our divorce decree spells out that our daughter is to make six trips per year and that I am responsible for three of those trips. When we first got divorced I bought a ticket for a trip about 8 weeks in advance. My exH travels a lot for his work so sure enough about two weeks before she was supposed to go he had to cancel and re-book the ticket (costs an additional $100). I could foresee this happening often when it was my "turn" to buy the tickets. Rather than having to negotiate with him on each ticket I decided to suggest a fair market value for a round trip ticket. Once a year I send him a check for this fair market value times three. I have decided to let go of this financial aspect and let him handle this however he wants to. In this way he makes the reservations and buys the tickets.<p>After 9-11, most fares have gone up and my daughter travels often during prime flying time (school holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas etc.). In order to save on haggling with him, I have proposed a generous fair market value round trip cost that he seems ok with and I will send him another check this coming June. He has lots of frequent flyer miles and could, in theory, use these for all of her flights but due to his last minute planning habits and his overall selfishness (he wants to save these miles for his own personal use) this does not happen often.<p>I don't know if this helps but this is my current situation.<p>Pat

Now I feel bad - did I pull you back into the tangled web here at the MB discussion forum....<p>Ok, I really don't fee lall that bad because unfortunately you're still having problems with your ExH.<p>I would let him take me to court - sorry, I'm in a bad mood right now - I just broke my silence and talked to my WH. Not pretty. <p>But in all honesty what would happen if he took you to court? You don't really need an atorney for something like this because he's the one with the problem - you seem to have a great proposition for the solution. I don't know why ha cant see that. <p>But, yes this is the problem with these men - they still expect us to take care of everything for them, and still expecting themselves to get the better end of the deal or they whine!<p>I see my future and it does not look good. <p>Just keep repeating to yourself - I get to move far far away from ExH. This thought alone should get you through a few of these exasperating times. Can I live vicariously through you and pretend I'm moving farfar away from my WH....<p>Stick to your guns, you've got a good plan. Don't let him get away with too much - if he wants a round figure and you have to pay - go low and then let him have to be reimbursed by you. There is a greater chance of you not having to pay extra money that way.<p>Good luck! K

GIC,<p>Nah, you didn't suck me back in..well, maybe a little, but my boyfriend's out of reach with his job right now and he's my usual sounding board...so, MB hello again [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Barrington,<p>I see the logic in the way you've decided to handle it. My kids won't be flying quite that often and to further put a wrinkle in the mess, my son will reside primarily with his dad and my daughter with me...so sometimes I am the receiving parent and sometime the sending one...that's why I was trying to come up with something that worked no matter which way the kids went.<p>I believe my ex goes out of his way to make these exchanges difficult...he is really good at cutting off his nose to spite his face if he thinks it will cost me time or money or get him out of spending some. He is petty, small, and a serious control freak.<p>Anyway, thanks for the idea - it gives me food for thought. Anybody else?<p>Lisa