My husband and I have been married almost three years now. We have constantly fought about him being dishonest with me. He takes money out of our savings and checking accounts and spends the money on food for his friends and himself. He wastes it away on nothing. He use to take hundreds of dollars out a month and naive me didn't know for awhile. He has been doing this since we have been married. When I catch that he spent money he usually lies and says he didn't do it until I put a reciept in front of his face. He is still doing it but he is getting better at hiding it until I get statements. He even uses our credit cards now. I never feel I can trust him so I made him give me his credit and debit cards. Some days he needs them to buy gas or cigareetes so I let him have them. On these days he usually goes out and does something but I never find out until I get the bank statements. I really don't know what to do. He lies a lot and I can't stand it anymore. How can I start trusting him when he contines to do the same thing just on a smaller scale now. Our marriage is really rocky and I think this is a big part of the reason why. Help.

I don't know! When somebody can answer this it will help me too. Can you get primary access to the paychecks and give him a cash allowance? Would he divorce you rather than give up control? This is pretty severe oppression in my book! <P>How much of it are YOU willing to tolerate? Have you defined your own limits? Don't inadvertently teach him he can get away with what you know you do not want to be tolerating.<P>Good luck!