So it has been a very long time since I have posted. I am in somewhat of a dilemma. I have survived...divorced but survived the betrayle of my spouse with a woman he worked with. It has been 2 years and I am now in a good relationship, taking things slow. However, this is my dilemma. One of my best friends has just moved in with me. Her live in boyfriend of 2.5 years (they have been together for 5 years) came home days before they sign the final paperwork for their condo and says he doesn't want the condo and not sure about the relationship. Turns out there is a girl at work he has feelings for...and it turns out that this is not the first time he has pulled this. She basically supports him financially and well my dilemma is how do I help her? I fear she is sacrificing her life to be with him. We have been friend since HighSchool over 15 years and she has never once been without a man in her life...(never married) she gives so much of herself that they walk all over her and are basically abusive.
Do I keep my mouth shut and listen or provide tough love? Like I said she is living in my house now, which is fine. I realized through this how unforgiving I am that he is using her like this (know that it is my issue due to my ex husbands betrayl)
anyway...any thoughts or help would be appreciated. And telling me to chill out and back off her is a fine response. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi MSA,<p>I say bring your friend here, she can then read for herself. Most folks, myself included, will listen to sound advice from people that love them, but most times they need to see/experience it for themselves. <p>JMHO,
Jo<p>[ April 22, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

I would say 'friend, I love you and it really pains me to see bf not appreciate you. I am always here for you but want to see you find someone that treats you better.'<p>If you speak from the heart, I think it will be evident. Then after that talk, leave it alone.

My advise is buy her a copy of "Love Busters". Dr Harley covers everything going on here very well and it will help her wether she stays with him or not. If she gets him to read it too then the equation will be very simple. I feel that if if everyone had to read LB and "His Needs Her Needs" before the shacked up or married divorce lawyers would have to find a new line of work. God Bless.

Thanks for your thoughts and advice. Since she is staying with me, I have pointed her to all my books (I am on the road so she is "home alone", I hope) from this site and Dr. Phil [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyway, I seem to remember the first 72 hours being the worst. I hope she is hanging in there.<p>thanks again