I will be divorced a year at the end of this month. I was married 22 years. My ex left me for his high school sweetheart. During the past year, he has broken up with her four times and wanted to work on reconciliation. Three times he ended up back with her.<p>This is break-up number 4. He has not spoken to her for 4 months. We start counseling in two weeks.<p>Any words of advice or wisdom for me? I am having a very hard time believing that he is TRULY done with her this time. How do I get over that feeling?<p>Two children - ages 15 and 11. Thanks for any advice you can give!

I have a couple olf questioins first...<p>1. Have you read His Needs, Her Needs? How about Surviving An Affair? If not, get them.<p>2. Be Brutally Honest with your XH and make sure that he is done with OW. Are you sure he hasn't made any contact with OW in four months? How are you sure (what is the evidence?)<p>3. Have you been trying Plan A (ie working on bettering yourself, doing things you enjoy, Acting as if you are moving on without him)?<p>4. I assume you want him back -- What are your objectives for the consuling?<p>There is no magic spell to get over the feeling of doubt/mistrust you have -- you must rebuild it thru consuling and his actions; you may have to have him constantly check-in with you (via phone calls) to let you know his whereabouts. Basically he will have to re-earn your trust (this is out of SAA I believe)<p>Just read those books and read all you can on this web site. There is a lot of info here that will give you some insight (and hopefully some hope) along with some confidence. It will also provide some ideas on a plan to implement to resolve your situation.<p>Hope this helps get you started...<p>Take care, God Bless and hope to hear from you again soon.<p>Frank1000<p>Me - BS 40 yr
WS - 39 yrs
Twins (D & S) - 7 yrs
PA started 7/01 (day after my b-day)
WS admitted PA 3/02
WS moved out next day 3/02 (WS b-day)
PA continues
Separated now and WS says she wants divorce but she hasn't filed yet and I don't plan to file