A friend informed me that some mutual friends
are divorcing..I'm not supposed to know what's going on, because well..I haven't talked to either of them since they made this decision two days ago..<p>As far as I know there isn't another person..for either one of them..I do know there is an alcohol
problem..and emotional needs not being met..<p>Like I said..I think I know the answer..and that is to not say anything until one of them mentions it to me..<p>But, knowing what I do know..and knowing the information about this site..should I go ahead
and give them some of the information from here
if they don't say anything?? I don't want to over step my bounds..but.. I really hate to see yet
another marriage end when I know there is something they can do, to at least TRY to make it work...<p>I guess I look at this as If someone has a cure for cancer..and they refused to share that with someone who is dying of cancer..wouldn't they be considered an accessory to their death??? <p>I could share the information..and they could do what they will with it..either try it out..or ignore it??<p>but I really hate to just butt in..I mean..I know someone posted the other day about basically this
same topic in one of their threads..someone overheard a conversation and recommended a marriage counselor..and they were offended that
the person stepped in to offer help..when in reality the person probably felt they were only trying to help..and I don't want to offend them..<p>
So any thoughts on this??

You could start a conversation talking about the great things you learned on this site. How helpful they were to you, even if they didn't fix your marriage, but give you insight onto what might have gone wrong. Now you'd like to share this with others. I've done that. I think the questionnaires are great, I've printed them many times. I'm now helping explain Plan A & B to someone at work, even though that was not part of my situation. You can work it in, and they may be open to it.

Hi TR,<p>Newly took the words right outta my mouth. Start a convo about MB ... talk about some stories here where a couple were D'ing, but because of MB they are now recovered. There should be plenty to chose from ... (i.e., Lostva, BrambleRose, HeartPain, etc.) Also, perhaps mention the book HN/HN too. <p>Good Luck and God's Speed!<p>Jo

Hello TR - Why not just tell the friend that told you they are having marriage issues about the site. Then tell the friend to tell the couple, Hey TR goes to this site quite often and helps people and if you have any questions about it or marriage issues contact TR, she's great concerning this issue?? If the site is good does it really require your involvement, even though you're good?<p>On the flip side of things, we can be seen as:<p>PeaceMaker - Confront the issue - and make peace
Peacekeeper - Pretend there's peace when 2 parties are at war, avoid conflict.
TruceMaker - A false peace made without any true intention of laying down weapons [Words or actions]

ThornedRose &#8211; IMHO, Newly&#8217;s advice to offer similar recent experiences of what you have learned about yourself and your situation is a sound recommendation. I had a coworker (a friend but not close enough of a friend to share info. of my WS&#8217;s A and our separation) ask right out of the blue, &#8220;Are you and your W living together or formally separate?&#8221; I was a bite shocked, insulted and hurt. <p>TR, your heart is in the right place, but I think your cancer analogy is off the mark. Cancer often can be cured by outside intervention, but a M in trouble can only be saved if both parties willingly try and enthusiastically make the effort to seek counseling, heal and grow. Sometimes it is just best to be an outside spectator, but willing to offer all the love and support to the D couple may seek from you.

Thank you all for your input..<p>I'll just have to spend time in prayer about this..<p>[ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: ThornedRose ]</p>