So I posted the other day about how I have a friend who broke up with her boyfriend of several years. Actually he broke up with her. Well she is staying with me. I have not been home much, been traveling for work. I have spent a lot of time emailing her and talking on the phone for support. the two days I was home was spent care taking for her. I know this sounds totally selfish but I need some advice. The days that I am home are precious to me...I have survived a betrayl of my ex husband and am 2 years on the mend. I have spent a lot of time sorting things out and have a home (where i live alone) that is mine. She is so distraught. It is hard to deal with. Her issues are much deeper than being broken up with. She is still holding out for him to come back and of course he dangles the carrot and there is little doubt they will be together. Meanwhile while I listen to her lament and take over my house, I know she will go back with him. I am concerned because she carries the phone around the house with her, to the mailbox, into the garage and if someone knocks on the door it is a race to the door. she emailed me the other day looking for how to access my answering machine remotely. Which means as I travel I have to rely on her to relay messages. It is too soon for me to totally turn my house inside outto set up for a roommate but I am really worried that while I want to be a friend, she may be taking advantage of the situation. I know he has been over to my house while I have been gone, I know that she is in my room to watch tv and use the phone (the tv was all messed up which told me someone had been playing with it) I guess I may be venting, but I feel like while I am trying to help, while I am gone my house is wide open for anything goes. And I feel bad about the way I feel but I see her not getting any better. He is someone who has lived off her and so I figure her need to take care of someone will superseedher need to get her own sense of self. and he will want her back because she is a meal ticket. It is sad but everyone in her family has told her and even his family the same thing. So I feel I have brought this melodrama into my home and yet while I am not home much I do not look forward to going home. Iknow this sounds selfish...I have been through this type of turmoil and am not ready or prepared to live it through someone else so closely.
Do I need to chill out? This is adding great stress in my life. I feel I have no life with all the travel and now my home does not feel like my own.
THoughts?

MSA,<p>This one is simple. Get control of your life again. Give her a month to find her own place and stick to it. You are gone often so it cannot be argued that she needs to with her. She can email, phone, whatever from her new place. <p>This guy is a BF, she lived somewhere before, she can go back or she can get a new place. I presume she has a job, I doubt she is paying you anything.<p>So, it is time to move her out. She may not like it, but you don't need to lose your home to her. She has also abused it by having someone in without telling you.<p>Oh! one last thing. Don't worry she won't be your friend after this anyway. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] People like her have no feedback loop. You said she won't listen to others even HIS parents. So she will be mad, she will be self absorbed, and she will be gone. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take control and move her out.<p>God Bless,<p>JL