It looks like I'm hours away from being divorced. It had to get a little ugly before it was settled. <p>I hired a new attorney, I was told he is one of the best in Houston. The new attorney told me "Excuse my language but you are being "screwed"." He said, "We don't have any time for the small guns, we need large cannons."<p>I hired him on Monday...He brought the big guns out within hours...He did more in one day than my attorney did all year...My stbx agreed to everything I asked for on Wednesday...They are filing the settlement today...<p>Incredible! If I wouldn't have been able to come up with the $$$ this probably wouldn't be happening. It makes it sad that money talks, I feel sorry for those who couldn't do what I did because of no money. I was almost one of those people...<p>Lesson learned...beg or borrow from friends to hire a good, qualified, years and years of experienced attorney that has a huge staff of people behind him/her...<p>Bottom line...In divorce there are no winners.<p>Well, I'll let you guys know when it happens.<p>Take care all,<p>ANNA<p>[ May 03, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</p>

Dear Anna:<p>I am very glad and sad that this day has come for you. Glad that it is over and sad that it ever had to come to this.<p>I am glad that you are getting your life back and are getting the money you deserve to get out of this terrible mess. I am sad that the sacred bond of marriage was destroyed by H's acts of cruelty and violence.<p>I hope that today is as good a day as you have ever had.<p>My best to you........see you on IM<p>vb

My thoughts and prayers are with you today.<p>May God give you the strength you need to stand tall through this period of your life. <p>I am so glad that you didn't cave, and stood strong against your STBX. That was probably the best thing for him and you. Looking back to my divorce hearing on Tuesday, I really caved and am now seriously thinking about bringing my now ExH back to court. <p>When the WH keeps thinking about himself then we have to start thinking about ourselves. It's hard, but you've been an inspiration because you had the courage to be strong when needed.<p>May God richly bless you and your family and bring healing into your lives. K

Anna?<p>How did it go. Just been thinking about you. Hope you are okay, Hon.<p>Jo

VB,<p>You have the most poetic way of writing. Thank you for always being a good friend to me.<p>GIIC,<p>Thank you so much for your words. They mean more to me than you know.<p>STBX had always told me not to tell the courts he had abused me, he pretty much threatened me if I did...well I did, my new attorney refiled under cruelty...this is weird but he didn't get furious like I thought he would, instead he has treated me better than he has through out the entire divorce...someone told me he had no respect for me for not standing up to him, well I did and it may be temporary but he seems to have some respect now.<p>Resilent,<p>Thanks for writing and thinking of me through the day. Unfortunately, the attorneys couldn't get through with all the paperwork so it looks like it won't be until Monday morning.<p>Both attorney are working on it this weekend. We shall see...<p>Take care all and thanks for thinking of me. No matter how abused or mistreated...18 years of marriage is over and the last year has been definitely like a death...<p>ANNA

Anna2000 I am glad that the settlement will be better and that things are working out for you. I think you will find being divorced a kind of release, the build up to a divorce with the struggle is really 'tiring' and 'trying'. I am glad that you stood up to him and that you have his respect now. Yes divorce is like a death, its the death of your marriage and commitment even if that marriage had problems its still a very emotional thing. You will be ok.<p>Love
Pantha

Anna2000 - I am in another state with our daughter in a horse show. I saw your post and said I have to reply. I and WH (you know who he is) filed divorce papers. WH is telling me that I have a big shot lawyer, that likes to spend money. I went and sought for a lawyer that was highly recommended, and he fought for the one who was used. Anna (you know who) is telling me I am spending so much money on a lawyer, he went to the yellow pages and got one. Told me it will only cost $1200 to get a divorce. Told me his lawyer will have everything ready in about a month. He doesn't have a secretary, very little office help. I was told too to get a lawyer that basically does the work, and hires others to do the other jobs. So now WH is so upset, he is losing control of me, the kids, the situation. He is having his lawyer contest quite a bit of the paper work. I said okay, talk to my lawyer. Anna this is so sad that we had to get to this point. But you know what, he wanted it since his affair with the other woman. So he is getting it now. Also, the OW will be sent papers for STD testing, I didn't know that it has become a law, do you know that, or is it from state-to-state. Also, WH will have to have the test done too, and so will I. I agreed wholeheartedly, WH says in due time, but I know it will happen now. When I told him the OW will have to have the test done too, he went balistic, saying I don't give a f*c*i*g S*i* what she does, I don't care where she is, just everyone leave poor WH alone. He has been awfully mean to me, calling me the F****** B*t*h many many times, today he called me that 20-30 times. It is sad, to see the man I married and had children with to act this way. He wants to live by himself and to basically let the kids fend for themselves. <p>Anna the real (WH) is coming out of the closet. This divorce paper situation, took him for a real surprise, he told his mother he was surprised that I did this without asking him. I don't need to ask him anything anymore. I have someone who cares about me, and will take care of me. I searched and asked how to find a lawyer, and I think I got a good one like you deserve too. Will keep you posted on how things turn out, hope that you get the divorce over with soon, I hate it, but this is what my WH wanted. <p>Now he can go see his OW and have a grand old time. Or for that matter, any woman.