My H and I known each other since August 2001. He teaches. Everything had went smooth until we had gotten married. We married in February 2002. We have no children invloved in this. Every since then he has been withdrawing from me. He has been distant from intimacy. We have been getting into pissing contests often. He is a beginning teacher and some of his students are giving him problems. Even when he has a good day it always ends up a bad day. I feel like I have no feelings. He always reminds me of the things he does for me to make me feel stupid. But when I remind him of the things I do for him he always get upset and huff and puff and roll his eyes. I clean the house and things like that. It seems like he never gives me the attention I need anymore. <p>I have been having bad dreams about him cheating on me and he tells me that that will never happen. Then I had other bad dreams right along with those about me and my husband arguing and fighting.
When I mention another man in his prescence he acts jealous by switching to another subject. He never listens to me when I talk to him. He says that he is listening to me but yet he looks at "Doc Savage" books when I am talking to him.<p>He tells me that he cannot wait unti the school year is over because he is stressed out from the school. He complains everyday almost everything that goes on at the school and how he hates it. We are supposed to moving wherever he gets a teaching positon. The administration does not support my husband when he has a problem with a student in class. The principal does not either. So I can understand what the problem is at work. Another problem is that when I ask him these "why you act this way" kind of questions he says that I am trying to start a quarrel. We got into an argument last night and we apologized to each other, but yet he brings it up at 4 in the morning. It seems like he is blaming me for something I did. So when I say things like: "You win, okay?" He gets mad and says: "I am not trying to win anything. You're my wife, Angela." Then he turns around and tries to take what he says back and says that I am not starting a fight. By the same token I feel that he is seeing someone else besides me. He has not been acting like this before. I love him and he says that he loves me but to tell the truth I am starting to lose love for him that I feel like cheating. I am feeling this way because I think he is seeing someone else behind my back. He tells me that he is not seeing someone else. <p>What am I supposed to do as a wife?
Should I take his word that things will be fine when the school year is over or should I give up. He has been acting like this sense marriage.
HELP!! PLEASE ANSWER.<p>[ May 03, 2002: Message edited by: 1exception ]</p>

Whoa...you have known each other only for 8 months...married after knowing each other only 6 months and are thinkiing of cheating...all that in less than a year? I'm not judging or climbing on my soap box, but take a deep breath and ask yourself what is going on? First of all, is this a first marriage for both of you? How old are you? The first year of marriage is always difficult...in your case the fact that you don't know each other that well compounds the problem. You and the husband need to talk about things...I can relate to your husband being stressed...teaching is very stressfull; especially in public education. Maybe he just needs some alone time for an hour when he gets home to clear his head. <p>I am not an expert but it sounds like you need to get to know each other and your habbits a bit more...not even giving it a year isn't really giving the marriage much of a try. Why did you marry so quickly?
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I thought we really loved each other. We both do not want to have children. We both like silver. We both have a lot in common. He says that I am different from most women. He was married before and he said he got cheated on. He was in the military and his wife's mother kept on getting in the way of him and his wife. He came home one night and caught his wife in the bed with another man and it was a terrible experience for him. I try not to bring it up when I am upset with him.