This is a follow up to my post "I think I'm giving up on her". As I mentioned in that post, Wednesday night my WW brought the OM to my daugther's dance rehearsal. This was her first big public outing with him and there were plenty of friends, neighbors and relatives around. I wasn't at the rehearsal but attended the dance recital last evening.<p>I was told last night, that while seated, the OM had his arm around my W almost the entire evening. People told me they couldn't believe it. Today, my W and the OM attended today's performance and my daughter told me my W introduced the OM to my next door neighbors and to a lot of friends.<p>Is this extreme even for those in a deep fog? Never once during our marriage did my W express serious unhappiness. She told me on 1/12/02 about the affair but said they hadn't even dated at that time but wanted to begin and he was only a friend at that point. She said I couldn't have been a better husband or father but she just didn't love me any longer and I deserved better from a W. Since that point, she's told me she's never loved me, she loved me up until a couple years ago...you name it, she's had a different story about everything and the insults get worse as time goes on. She plans on building a house with the OM soon and our D could be final as early as 7/25. She said she's completely sure he's the love of her life and they'll be together forever. Thanks for your feedback.

djw, this is normal when they are in thick fog and deception. I would advise you to work on you. I can tell you already the home she and OM are building is only a " Sand Castle"...one day its going to come crashing down. No home built from betrayl and lies will stand or survive. right now it just feels good to play house right now. Hang in there and read and pray , work on you, it seems she's moving forward in life but in reality backwards, you'll be far ahead when the fog lifts...

djw,<p>This is pretty normal,unfortunetely. My x got counseled at work because after our seperation she was running around with om, her soulmate, at work, holding hands and kissing like a couple of teenagers. She was told it was unprofessional.<p>If you have read my other posts, you can see what happened to her soulmate.<p>Hang in!<p>Bob

There are a couple funny things to point out about my situation. Dating back as far as I can remember (we've been together over 22 years and married over 18), my wife would comment about people who displayed their affection in public by kissing, hugging, etc... She would say these types of people have relationship problems and are trying to show everyone how happy they are when it's probably not true (not that I agree with that myself). Now here she is doing that same thing.<p>The second thing is that my wife was a cleaning fanatic and even did some things that bordered on obsessive compulsiveness. She told me she's no longer like that and the reason why she cleaned so much when with me is that it was a way for her to focus her attention on something other than how unhappy she was with me. My daugther was telling me last night that every night after the OM leaves her apartment, she complains about him setting his glass on the wood table and cleans it right away. My daughter asked her why she doesn't say something to him and she said she didn't want to get him mad. My daughter said my W also gets the vacuum cleaner out right away after he leaves and vacuums right away too. Guess maybe she hasn't changed but doesn't want him to see that side of her.<p>[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: djw ]</p>