This is a transcript between a commuter and the
railroad company, regarding services of the latter.<p>"Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the
last twenty-two years, and the service on your line
seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of
standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip.
I think the transportation system is worse that that
enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.<p>Yours truly, A Commuter"<p>The Reply to the above:<p>"Dear Sir: We received your letter with reference to
the shortcomings of our service and believe you are
somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of
transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.<p>Sincerely, Western Railways"<p>And the Counter-Reply was:<p>"Gentlemen: I am in receipt of your letter, and I
think you are the ones who are confused in your
history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of
David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to
town on his [censored]...
That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to
do on your train in the last twenty-two years!<p>Yours truly, A Commuter"

NEW SHOES<p>
Giorgio is in this country for about 6 months,
he walks to work every
day and passes a shoe store. Each
day he stops and looks in the window and
admires
a certain pair of
Bocceli leather shoes. After about 2
months he saves the $300.00 the shoes cost and
purchases them.<p>Each Friday night the Italian community gets
together at a dance at the
church basement, so Giorgio
seizes the opportunity to wear his new Bocceli
leather shoes to the
dance.<p>He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he
asks her, "Sophia, you wear
red panties tonighta yes?"<p>Sophia, startled, says, "Yes, Giorgio, I do
wear
red panties tonight,
but how do you know?" Giorgio
replies, "I see the reflection in my new
$300.00
Bocceli leather shoes.
How do you like them?"<p>Next he asks Rosa to dance, after a few
minutes
he says to her, "Rosa,
you wear white panties tonighta
yes?"<p>Rose answers, "Yes, Giorgio, I do, but how do
you know that?" He answers
"I see the reflection in my
new $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you
like them?"<p>Now the evening is almost over and the last
song
is being played,
Giorgio asks Carmella to dance. Mid
way through the dance his face turns red. He
says, "Carmella, stilla my
heart, please, please tell me you
wear no
panties tonighta, please, please, tella me
this
true." Carmella answers,
"Yes Giorgio, I wear no panties
tonight."<p>Giorgio gasps and says ...."Thanka God ... I
thought I had a CRACK in my
$300.00 Bocceli leather shoes."

An Italian immigrant has saved up enought money to build the house of his dreams. He finds and architect and a contractor and soon the dream house is under construction. <p>The one things he asks for that is problematic for the builders is a "Halo Statue" in every room. They are unsure what he wants but they do know that he is a devout Roman Catholic. Therefore they put a niche in each room and place in them, before the man tours the house for the first time, statues of the virgin Mary.<p>The day arrives for the man to tour the house. Both the architect and the contractor are there when he arrives. They take him through the house and he loves it. He is especially impressed with the statues of Mary. But he is concerned that his request for "Halo Statues" has not been honored.<p>The architect and the contractor then have to tell him that they are sorry but they could not figure out what they were. They assumed, for lack of any better idea, that the statues were what he wanted.<p>He explains, "No, no, no. It is one of those things that rings and you pick it up and say, 'Halo, 'stat you.'"

lol ... good ones!

more, please.