I have posted a bit on this site, <p>In short, I have wallowed in my own self pity way to long. I have been emotionally dead for a long time now. I have said I love my ex wife, but with many opportunities never actively tried to change anything. I said I wsa trying, but I really did nothing but felt sorry for myself. I have had many feelings and emotions overcome me the last year.....I recently struggle d emotionally with the thought of my ex wife dating another man. It hurt and I did not handle my emotions like I should. However, it woke me up. <p>I have decided I will put more of an effort in trying to see if I can reconcile with my ex wife. We both say we love each other. I guess that is a start.<p>I started this weekend. We went on dates Thursday and Friday. We both had so much fun Friday. I know the problems are still there but can not tell you how ggod it felt again to be with her. She told me yesterday, she had the best weekend. Maybe with a little luck we can both let our emotional walls down and end up with each other.<p>I feel good, but I am guarded. I realize that we have a very tentative relationship at best. However, I guess it makes me feel better that I am not just sitting around doing nothing. I feel I will be able to handle it, if this last ditched effort does not work. It feels like this is our last chance. I know htings are going good....and I have been on the other side of things. But I am just going to go with feeling good right now.........